Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I WANT TO BUY A HOUSE FOR A CPC! I was in front of this abortion clinic that brags about having done 100,000 abortions in 20 years. I couldn't help but notice how the house next to this clinic was for sale. So now I am determined to buy it an d put up a crisis pregnancy center just next to it...only really is the only problem. We have Crisis Pregnancy Centers here that are willing to have it as their satellite or be a mentor to me as I get a board and staff together for it..If anyone has any brilliant financing ideas...I would greatly appreciate it. We want to grab it before the abortion clinic buys it....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Child is Born in Rockford

I just posted this on my family blog, finally coming out of the closet to everyone. I cannot believe how amazing Jesus is and am humbled.

I had been wanting to come out of the closet on an issue on this blog for some time but was really reluctant and waiting for the right time. I know this is an adoption family blog but one of the reasons my family is so incredible to me is because I had an abortion at the age of 19. I sat down last year because I felt led to write a book about adoption and my family. During prayer time the good Lord made it clear that I had to tell my whole story. So I wrote a book about the miracle of my family and God’s incredible outpouring of love, forgiveness and grace in my life in the form of my children. There is a whole book called TO BE A MOTHER getting formatted now and will be ready probably in February or March if you are interested in hearing the entire story.

This time of year has been difficult for me throughout the years. I always knew that the baby would be born in the middle or end of December. There was so much I wasn’t sure of during that confusing and difficult time in 1981. But even though I had an abortion when the baby was only 8 or 9 weeks I had somehow known the baby was a girl and her name was Aubrey. I had the abortion in May and had named her prior to the abortion. I fell into deep despair after the abortion. In December of that year as I was making the bed the radio alarm clock went off and the song “AUBREY” by the band “Bread” mysteriously started playing. As I heard the words “I never knew her but I loved her just the same” I became unglued and had a hard time even continuing with the singing job I had at Disneyworld. Eventually I couldn’t even work and quit my dream job from incapacitating depression.

Years have gone by. I have gone through therapy. I have been healed. I have given birth, adopted my children and been blessed with a fantastic marriage. I am genuinely happy and praise God for bringing me out of that awful unexpected abyss post abortion. I have a passion now for chatting with other post abortive women who may need healing. I have also just finished a healing bible study called “Tender Mercies” written by a Christian Psychologist. The class is over but the one thing I have never done is had a memorial service for Aubrey which is recommended in this class. I know to some it sounds really strange to do this. But surprisingly in the past month my grief has been very close to the surface. Just the thought of the service this January 7th(there will be two other mothers there too) brings me to tears to the point of sobbing. So, the other day in the car I was just thinking that I wanted her to have a middle name. I thought about Aubrey Faith and Aubrey Hope because of the significance of both of the words to me. But then I decided to give her my name as her middle name. In aborting her years ago I lost a part of myself. In denying myself that child a part of me died but I have faith that Aubrey Deanna is in Heaven where i would long for us to be together one day. I pray that having my name as a part of her name will guarantee that although a part of me died the eternal part of her lives forever and we too are united forever….I could go on and on but that is what the book is for.

I always knew that if I had given birth to Aubrey we would have moved back to my hometown in Rockford Illinois to get our bearings before deciding what to do next. But unfortunately I made a choice that I would regret and never moved back to Rockford with a baby daughter in my arms. Still, God has been extremely loving and extravagant to me. The reason I am telling you this today is because something miraculous and sweet has happened today. Sometimes things happen that are like little secrets that you have just between you and God. They are small little miracles where you feel like He is smiling down on you and just saying “I love you so much.” I have a cousin named Diane in Rockford who had all boys. One of her boys ERIC and his wife Felicia gave birth to his second daughter today. Diane and Eric haven’t read my book and because I have been in the closet she doesn’t know my story. Very few people even knew about Aubrey or that I named a baby I would never see. Eric is married to a sweet woman named Felicia. Tonight I received this email on what could have been the birthday of my daughter who would be a younger cousin to Eric.

Hi Deanna, Diane called this morning and Eric and Felicia had a 10# baby girl yesterday and guess what they named her? Aubrey Hope.........



I don’t believe in coincidences but do believe God loves us immensely. A child has been born in Rockford named Aubrey Hope who has blessed a cousin in North Carolina merely by taking her first breath and sharing a name with a Heavenly cousin. I just want to celebrate her life and know that God is great and His forgiveness and sweetness is available to all. I pray that Eric and Felicia can feel the joy that their new little ‘noble and bright’ princess will bring to them. I promise not to make this a heavy, controversial or depressing blog but wanted to share my personal story, today’s miracle and show you why my enthusiasm for my magnificent family is so great. They are truly a gift from a forgiving and extravagantly sweet Father.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Post Abortive Testimonies for Book

I have just started writing another pro life book with post abortive testimonies from women of all backgrounds (lesbians, atheists,pagans)...My Christian testimony will be in the book as well as some by pro life chinese buddhists, jews and catholics. I am looking for women to volunteer their testimonies for my book. The intention of the book is to show the secular community that it should be difficult to stereotype the pro life community because we do come from all different types of backgrounds. i also want to bring to light the pain of abortion regardless of your background, religion or political leanings.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Aborting Jesus! My Pro life Christmas Plea!

I haven't posted much since the election. I have had the post election blues. I have had a lot of time to think. Okay not a lot of time to think since I have 6 kids that I am blessed with. But I have had enough time to think. I am disturbed by the potential for the doors of abortion to spring open even wider. I am disturbed by the fact that our society voted for a president that continues to appoint many pro abortion leaders to his cabinet. It is Christmas though and I am now just trying to focus on the blessings of my family...

That being said I came across something that Mother Teresa said..."Be humble like Mary so that you can be holy like Jesus" I think about Mary so much. I think about her the most around Christmas time. I imagine this young barely teen becoming pregnant without even having sex. And this was of course also during a time that King Herod wanted to kill the little ones too.

This year planned parenthood is offering gift certificates that women can use toward an abortion. The timing is intentionally to be for the "HOLIDAY'S" or for the time of Christ's birth (Christmas).

It takes true humility and a humble person like Mary to come to the realization that she is with child, without a husband and facing the likely murder of her future child to walk the path of LIFE escaping Herod's wrath. Today young women find themselves in similar situations (okay not exactly similar...but follow me). Being young and pregnant today at 14, unmarried, no support and living in the dangerous world, it is tempting for women to walk into the executioners lair and abort their babies. It is more difficult to walk the path of life then to have the grace and courage to walk the path into motherhood. Had Mary been born in this time, in this century it might even be possible that Jesus would never have been born..I am sure had she walked into Planned Parenthood out of desperation the demons may have been able to strip our world of our redemption and forgiveness by killing Jesus before he could make it to the cross. Mother Teresa also was asked once why there wasn't a cure for AIDs...she said something like (not exact quote) "Because the person who found the cure was aborted before they were given the chance to eliminate the disease." How many peacemakers, artists, righteous men and women have been killed prior to even being given the opportunity to make the world a better place? Maybe that is why our world stinks so much...all of the 50 million individuals who could have made a positive difference have been stripped from their mother's wombs before they could even take a breath or change this world for the better.

I tend to use my imagination. I see Jesus and His Angels in Heaven with these sweet little souls saying "Okay here is your chance. When you get to earth cure diabetes or get rid of world hunger." So, the babies are ready and enter the woman's womb, God places them there and then they are killed before being able to even reach infancy. So, then the angels try again and again...again and again they try hoping to answer the prayers of the millions of people on earth praying for peace, love and a world of UNITY. But the angels continue to fight Satan's demons that are determined to not let that child reside in the world....time and time again...our hopes in the form of each of these children are killed....So the battle continues...We wonder why and say...WHY IS GOD LETTING THIS HAPPEN? All the while the children that Christ is trying to send to help answer our prayers are being aborted. The fight is about to get more intense. More potential leaders, doctors, artists and activists are going to be salined, suctioned, scraped, stabbed and cut from our society. This is war now. If we want to fight for a better world it is time for us now all to get off of our blogs and stand on the front line for LIFE. Possibly during the 40 days of life or just one day on the sidewalk in front of a clinic this Christmas we can help to save our world by saving one single baby at a time....maybe we'll even be a part of bringing a righteous president into the world.


"Each one of them is Jesus in disguise."
Mother Teresa