Saturday, March 7, 2009

Returning to the scene of the Crime!

So, as many of you know the abortion I had years ago was in Orlando. This was when I was performing at DisneyWorld as a singer. I eventually couldn't work post abortion due to stress and inability to cope. THe first time i returned was about 15 years after the abortion. On that one trip I conceived my son Andrew while down here. On Tuesday, I am surprising my kids with a trip to Disney. I am also going to be meeting with the man that hired me 27 years ago. He will also be meeting my kids. He doesn't know why I really quit and I don't think I will tell him on Tuesday. Still, I am touched that I will be visiting with 5 of my 6 kids. There is something really surreal about visiting with them. I also feel a sense of total closure about it. I also feel totally blessed and humbled to be walking down main street with my kids. This year I finished writing my book (going to be edited next month) and gave my testimony for the first time. I also had a memorial for my daughter Aubrey. So this visit to Disney with my children from Africa who as of last year thought an escalator was the most exciting ride they had ever seen, is really a gift. I also have been able in the past few months to remember the authentic joy I had with this job. I loved working there. It is incredible to realize that at one time both my most joyous moments of working and singing in the sun and my worst moment of killing my baby occured in the same place and time. So strange that feelings of genuine happiness and immobilizing pain can overcome you in the span of a few months......So, I will be there Tuesday. I expect to have a great time. i expect to walk through main street remembering the joy as I see the joy in my kids eyes. I am happy that I can walk through those streets sincerely appreciating where I am now.....healed through Jesus and really being able to "sing as in the days of my youth" Hosea 2:15....thanks to the Lord above...

2 comments:

Beth in NC said...

That is so wonderful Deanna! It truly is a miracle! I can hardly wait to hear a report when you return.

The pictures and the stories will be great I'm sure!

Love!
b

Pam said...

I am so happy for you! You are truly being set free! How wonderful Deanna, that now your memories of Orlando will be filled with this current trip with your family and all the joyful moments! Praise the Lord1 love ya!