Friday, May 8, 2009


Hi Guys,

I am consolidating and moving ALL of my abortion commentary over to MOTHERHOOD IN REAL TIME.... sorry about any confusion but I actually think this will make things easier for most of you..


Tuesday, May 5, 2009


For many of us post abortive women, it is very hard for us to forgive ourselves. God loves us unconditionally and in kind we can honor Him by forgiveing others and ourselves...Mother Teresa has such a sweet demeanor that I find comforting and she is chatting about forgiveness...

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Darwin vs. Intelligent Design

There is really a connection between Darwinism and abortion. There is a quest for perfection and a belief that imperfect individuals should not exist and it is somehow rational and acceptable for the weak and less fit to die by that philosophy. Offshoot of this belief is social Darwinism that led us into Eugenics and sterilization in America to as many as 60 thousand people. Intelligent design isn't really the same as creationism but is tied to it. Intelligent design assumes a creator based on the intricacies of scientific observation of bacteria, cells etc. Einstien believed in a supreme creator because of his observations in science. EInstein was never religious and was not a christian. As Christians most of us believe in the word of God that we were created by Him. And creationism is supported by the concept of Intelligent design. However, for the sake of this post I just want to discuss Darwin and intelligent design. I believe the distinction is synonomous with choice v life. If we believe we have the right to choose because we control life and the imperfect timing allows us to force power over other life that is not as strong as us. The Darwinists believe that even human life evolves. The connection to eugenics too prescribes to the belief that imperfect people should die. Frederick Osborne the president of AMERICAN EUGENICS SOCIETY said that their organization should convince us to Voluntarily Unconsciously Select to abort or sterilize ourselves. He came up with this idea because the people were not accepting the fact that they were "second rate"...His belief was if you convince people to voluntarily unconsciously select based on being told you are irresponsible and it is more merciful/compassionate to abort then their purposes would have been fulfilled. Choice is based on Darwinism and eugenics. Intelligent Design tells us that the supreme being does not make mistakes therefore each life is designed perfectly by a creator to fulfill a purpose in the universe for this place and time. In a nutshell, Planned Parenthood whose founder Margaret Sanger a well known member of the Eugenics society, was created as an organization that could promote the eugenics theory. This is why to this day 1/3 of African american babies are aborted..Planned parenthood is a darwinistic organization. Their goals are succeeding. But knowing that the CHOICE is not a choice but manipulated by Eugenicists like Frederick Osborne who wanted us to voluntarily unconsciously select to abort our kids should influence us to inspire others to truly know that abortion is created to annihilate races/poor/disabled/disadvantages. Everytime a woman says..."I am too young, too old, too poor, too sick, too irresponsible so I am choosing to abort" she is basically parroting eugenic rhetoric. I was never one to want to refute evolution etc because I was raised in a liberal home and went to schools where evolution was taught. BUt this recent discovery of mine has been eye opening. And to every one of us who have aborted and felt lied to our answer is that 'yes we have been lied to.' Abortion is a means to continue to perpetuate the darwinist/eugenics philosophy that only the perfect children should be born from perfect neighborhoods with perfect tax paying citizens who don't require economic support. As an 18 year old girl who had to support herself I totally believed and bought into the belief that because I was imperfect and timing was imperfect it was more wise to abort. Margaret Sanger said: "The most merciful thing a family can do to one of its infants is to kill it." I have heard women say 'it is more compassionate than bringing a child into the world when I can't take care of it..." My first child Aubrey was aborted because I believed I was making an independant choice...the truth is I was manipulated into believing I was voluntarily unconsciously selecting to abort my baby....TOTAL MANIPULATION not choice at my opinion this doesn't benefit women at all...

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Redemption or Destruction

I love my church. Today Jim Laffoon (one of our pastors)preached on "A HOMELESS GOD" and how God is looking to reside inside our hearts. He also said that most people in the world don't want God to reside inside of them on God's terms. It was a convicting sermon. Mainly, for me there were aspects that tied into the issue of choice. He referred to John 14:23 (here is John 14:14-23):

John 14:14-23 (New International Version)

14You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit
15"If you love me, you will obey what I command. 16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[a] in you. 18I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

22Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, "But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?"

23Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.

Several things stick out to me regarding, abortion, the world, choices. Mainly, God wants to give to His children. But obedience through submission appears to be the one repetitive attribute that honors God. THe world is consumed with the ways of the serpent. As we reside in the world we can be consumed by it and be tempted to WANT the riches of the world. God is telling us to ask and He will give. Why do we want what is in the world? Why did Judas desire God to be shown to the world and not to HIM? God wants us to desire Him. Because He knows through Him we can be complete, fulfilled and empowered by the Holy Spirit living in us. Still, we are constantly faced with choices. There are always only two. Pastor Jim said that Christianity isn't complex but it is costly. Our choice is redemption in Christ or Destruction through the enemy. The world or the treasures of heaven. When I was faced with my CHOICE, i had little faith and didn't believe God would love me and protect and care for me. I chose destruction. Many women chose destruction. People say all the time how difficult the decision is to choose life for your baby or the abortion. I know it is difficult but it is only difficult because we refuse to obey and believe in the power of God. The decision of LIFE isn't complex but to an 18 year old girl who may pay the cost by losing her boyfriend, job, school and independence the choice of life seems costly. Being oblivious to God and consumed by the world can be an easier choice. It seems ironic that the path to destruction actually is in some ways a smoother path to walk but it is at times. When we walk with God or allow Him to reside in us we have to be willing to be refined by Him. That means reliance, dependence, trust, submission and faith. THis is something I didn't have. It is something that I am constantly working on. But I praise Him for clarity in the past several years. Our lives, whether it be about choosing to have an abortion, an affair, do drugs, drink until we are drunk, steal, murder, curse, be promiscuous are about making a decision every day to choose the redemptive Holy path or destruction.....Love is a verb...redemption, righteousness can be ours through HIM. The temptations will persist as long as we are in the world but we can be aware that the devil will dangle anything in front of us to pull us away from God. It is our choice to hang onto OUR FATHER for dear life even when the world and its leaders are tempting us away from eternity.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Christ has Risen!

When I started this blog I settled on the name REVIVING MOTHERS because I really thought it was a fitting name for post abortive healing. There is a revival of sorts once we have been healed, forgiven and then forgiven ourselves. There is also an energy or momentum that occurs once the super natural healing of Christ just washes over us. It is as if although we were held down by a ton of bricks finally we could fly high and soar by His grace. So, Easter to me is so significant. My whole abortion experience came from a misunderstanding and disconnect with the true nature of God. I saw God as punitive and the crucifixion was proof to me..."HOW COULD HE KILL HIS OWN SON?" i seemed to say to myself through the years. Yes, I wore the Easter dress on Sunday but my focus was on Friday...I ignored the resurrection and was obsessed with the death. When I became pregnant, I had no faith and couldn't see into the SUNDAY that was ahead in my future. I wanted God to come and save me. IN the room aborting my baby I thought maybe God would come to my rescue. When He didn't I blamed God. But once I reached out to Him in desperation a year later...I started to see glimpses of the God that was truly all compassionate. I watched and watched as He lifted me up and allowed me to walk and sing again even with a spring in my step. When I ultimately realized what Christ's crucifixion really meant I couldn't contain my humbling shock in realizing that somehow Christ had to die for me. It wasn't fair...He was all good. I wasn't . But when I stand singing through the Easter service I can't help but cry in gratitude that HE came for me and that on Sunday HE ROSE...I had wanted to happy Disney ending and there really is one. Christ has risen and we are redeemed because of it...PRAISE HIM!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Bible Study!

So, Pam and I had our bible study today. We are just realizing it may take forever to go through the bible and really grasp how it ties into the abortion issue..but already in reading Genesis we are given such insight. So, first we were given the opportunity to obey. Then Adam was supposed to be a man and obey God first not eating from the tree. The Serpent tempted Eve and Adam said "OKAY" too...In the beginning we were supposed to obey and even when given a choice to do what God specifically told us not to do...we do it...Still God is merciful but later on we just get a bit out of hand with Cain killing eventually God starts all over with Noah (finally an obedient soul)... one of his sons Ham also sins by gabbing about the nakedness of his father Noah who had a little too much of his homemade wine..Later Babel is created and these crazy people think they can get to God by building a tower to heaven ....God confuses them by mixing up the language. But the part we really thought was funny was Abram's explanation to Sarai as to why she had to pretend to be his sister:

Genesis 12 Abram in Egypt
10 Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe. 11 As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, "I know what a beautiful woman you are. 12 When the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then they will kill me but will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you."

14 When Abram came to Egypt, the Egyptians saw that she was a very beautiful woman. 15 And when Pharaoh's officials saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into his palace. 16 He treated Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, menservants and maidservants, and camels.

17 But the LORD inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram's wife Sarai. 18 So Pharaoh summoned Abram. "What have you done to me?" he said. "Why didn't you tell me she was your wife? 19 Why did you say, 'She is my sister,' so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!" 20 Then Pharaoh gave orders about Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way, with his wife and everything he had.

I guess it never dawned on Abram that he was putting his wife in a precarious situation. Later, Sarai in disbelief to God's prophesy insists that Abram go to Hagar instead....Abram LISTENS ...again like Adam not simply obeying God but caving to his wife's requests...anyhow, again Sarai though didn't really believe or have faith..POINT IS...there is a pattern of us having a lack of faith and disobedient nature from the beginning...and men and women being far from the heart of God. We had to laugh though at the end of the 18th book because it was like a funny sitcom:

13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' 14 Is anything too hard for the LORD ? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son."

15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, "I did not laugh."
But he said, "Yes, you did laugh."
She tries to deny to God that she laughed but the funny thing was that God showed a sense of humor too and says "you did laugh."

On a serious note it is just like us to believe we can truly plan our family better than God. Sarah is in disbelief so gets a surrogate. We can be so impatient as women especially when biology tells us it can't happen. Still all things are possible. I have a couple of friends who had their first children at 45 and I have a few friends still waiting at that age....I think if we quiet our hearts and hear from HIM clearly then we need to remain steadfast in HIS will and promise to us...Waiting for HIS TIME can be grueling and it is tough when we start to doubt whether we are hearing from Him when it comes to our children...but what is He telling us in our quiet times? Is He saying.."you will conceive a child" or is it Him that is telling us to adopt, get a surrogate or sponsor a child some other way...Or is He leading us down some other path? Either way it comes down to obedience....what is He telling us? When there are a million choices in front of us and yet we know what God has told us...are we tempted to somehow deny God's command for us in lieu of the choices that look good but are truly the path to something wicked...? I want to try to listen more and truly HEAR Him in this wilderness that is our crazy world....

Wednesday, April 1, 2009