Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I WANT TO BUY A HOUSE FOR A CPC! I was in front of this abortion clinic that brags about having done 100,000 abortions in 20 years. I couldn't help but notice how the house next to this clinic was for sale. So now I am determined to buy it an d put up a crisis pregnancy center just next to it...only really is the only problem. We have Crisis Pregnancy Centers here that are willing to have it as their satellite or be a mentor to me as I get a board and staff together for it..If anyone has any brilliant financing ideas...I would greatly appreciate it. We want to grab it before the abortion clinic buys it....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Child is Born in Rockford

I just posted this on my family blog, finally coming out of the closet to everyone. I cannot believe how amazing Jesus is and am humbled.

I had been wanting to come out of the closet on an issue on this blog for some time but was really reluctant and waiting for the right time. I know this is an adoption family blog but one of the reasons my family is so incredible to me is because I had an abortion at the age of 19. I sat down last year because I felt led to write a book about adoption and my family. During prayer time the good Lord made it clear that I had to tell my whole story. So I wrote a book about the miracle of my family and God’s incredible outpouring of love, forgiveness and grace in my life in the form of my children. There is a whole book called TO BE A MOTHER getting formatted now and will be ready probably in February or March if you are interested in hearing the entire story.

This time of year has been difficult for me throughout the years. I always knew that the baby would be born in the middle or end of December. There was so much I wasn’t sure of during that confusing and difficult time in 1981. But even though I had an abortion when the baby was only 8 or 9 weeks I had somehow known the baby was a girl and her name was Aubrey. I had the abortion in May and had named her prior to the abortion. I fell into deep despair after the abortion. In December of that year as I was making the bed the radio alarm clock went off and the song “AUBREY” by the band “Bread” mysteriously started playing. As I heard the words “I never knew her but I loved her just the same” I became unglued and had a hard time even continuing with the singing job I had at Disneyworld. Eventually I couldn’t even work and quit my dream job from incapacitating depression.

Years have gone by. I have gone through therapy. I have been healed. I have given birth, adopted my children and been blessed with a fantastic marriage. I am genuinely happy and praise God for bringing me out of that awful unexpected abyss post abortion. I have a passion now for chatting with other post abortive women who may need healing. I have also just finished a healing bible study called “Tender Mercies” written by a Christian Psychologist. The class is over but the one thing I have never done is had a memorial service for Aubrey which is recommended in this class. I know to some it sounds really strange to do this. But surprisingly in the past month my grief has been very close to the surface. Just the thought of the service this January 7th(there will be two other mothers there too) brings me to tears to the point of sobbing. So, the other day in the car I was just thinking that I wanted her to have a middle name. I thought about Aubrey Faith and Aubrey Hope because of the significance of both of the words to me. But then I decided to give her my name as her middle name. In aborting her years ago I lost a part of myself. In denying myself that child a part of me died but I have faith that Aubrey Deanna is in Heaven where i would long for us to be together one day. I pray that having my name as a part of her name will guarantee that although a part of me died the eternal part of her lives forever and we too are united forever….I could go on and on but that is what the book is for.

I always knew that if I had given birth to Aubrey we would have moved back to my hometown in Rockford Illinois to get our bearings before deciding what to do next. But unfortunately I made a choice that I would regret and never moved back to Rockford with a baby daughter in my arms. Still, God has been extremely loving and extravagant to me. The reason I am telling you this today is because something miraculous and sweet has happened today. Sometimes things happen that are like little secrets that you have just between you and God. They are small little miracles where you feel like He is smiling down on you and just saying “I love you so much.” I have a cousin named Diane in Rockford who had all boys. One of her boys ERIC and his wife Felicia gave birth to his second daughter today. Diane and Eric haven’t read my book and because I have been in the closet she doesn’t know my story. Very few people even knew about Aubrey or that I named a baby I would never see. Eric is married to a sweet woman named Felicia. Tonight I received this email on what could have been the birthday of my daughter who would be a younger cousin to Eric.

Hi Deanna, Diane called this morning and Eric and Felicia had a 10# baby girl yesterday and guess what they named her? Aubrey Hope.........



I don’t believe in coincidences but do believe God loves us immensely. A child has been born in Rockford named Aubrey Hope who has blessed a cousin in North Carolina merely by taking her first breath and sharing a name with a Heavenly cousin. I just want to celebrate her life and know that God is great and His forgiveness and sweetness is available to all. I pray that Eric and Felicia can feel the joy that their new little ‘noble and bright’ princess will bring to them. I promise not to make this a heavy, controversial or depressing blog but wanted to share my personal story, today’s miracle and show you why my enthusiasm for my magnificent family is so great. They are truly a gift from a forgiving and extravagantly sweet Father.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Post Abortive Testimonies for Book

I have just started writing another pro life book with post abortive testimonies from women of all backgrounds (lesbians, atheists,pagans)...My Christian testimony will be in the book as well as some by pro life chinese buddhists, jews and catholics. I am looking for women to volunteer their testimonies for my book. The intention of the book is to show the secular community that it should be difficult to stereotype the pro life community because we do come from all different types of backgrounds. i also want to bring to light the pain of abortion regardless of your background, religion or political leanings.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Aborting Jesus! My Pro life Christmas Plea!

I haven't posted much since the election. I have had the post election blues. I have had a lot of time to think. Okay not a lot of time to think since I have 6 kids that I am blessed with. But I have had enough time to think. I am disturbed by the potential for the doors of abortion to spring open even wider. I am disturbed by the fact that our society voted for a president that continues to appoint many pro abortion leaders to his cabinet. It is Christmas though and I am now just trying to focus on the blessings of my family...

That being said I came across something that Mother Teresa said..."Be humble like Mary so that you can be holy like Jesus" I think about Mary so much. I think about her the most around Christmas time. I imagine this young barely teen becoming pregnant without even having sex. And this was of course also during a time that King Herod wanted to kill the little ones too.

This year planned parenthood is offering gift certificates that women can use toward an abortion. The timing is intentionally to be for the "HOLIDAY'S" or for the time of Christ's birth (Christmas).

It takes true humility and a humble person like Mary to come to the realization that she is with child, without a husband and facing the likely murder of her future child to walk the path of LIFE escaping Herod's wrath. Today young women find themselves in similar situations (okay not exactly similar...but follow me). Being young and pregnant today at 14, unmarried, no support and living in the dangerous world, it is tempting for women to walk into the executioners lair and abort their babies. It is more difficult to walk the path of life then to have the grace and courage to walk the path into motherhood. Had Mary been born in this time, in this century it might even be possible that Jesus would never have been born..I am sure had she walked into Planned Parenthood out of desperation the demons may have been able to strip our world of our redemption and forgiveness by killing Jesus before he could make it to the cross. Mother Teresa also was asked once why there wasn't a cure for AIDs...she said something like (not exact quote) "Because the person who found the cure was aborted before they were given the chance to eliminate the disease." How many peacemakers, artists, righteous men and women have been killed prior to even being given the opportunity to make the world a better place? Maybe that is why our world stinks so much...all of the 50 million individuals who could have made a positive difference have been stripped from their mother's wombs before they could even take a breath or change this world for the better.

I tend to use my imagination. I see Jesus and His Angels in Heaven with these sweet little souls saying "Okay here is your chance. When you get to earth cure diabetes or get rid of world hunger." So, the babies are ready and enter the woman's womb, God places them there and then they are killed before being able to even reach infancy. So, then the angels try again and again...again and again they try hoping to answer the prayers of the millions of people on earth praying for peace, love and a world of UNITY. But the angels continue to fight Satan's demons that are determined to not let that child reside in the world....time and time again...our hopes in the form of each of these children are killed....So the battle continues...We wonder why and say...WHY IS GOD LETTING THIS HAPPEN? All the while the children that Christ is trying to send to help answer our prayers are being aborted. The fight is about to get more intense. More potential leaders, doctors, artists and activists are going to be salined, suctioned, scraped, stabbed and cut from our society. This is war now. If we want to fight for a better world it is time for us now all to get off of our blogs and stand on the front line for LIFE. Possibly during the 40 days of life or just one day on the sidewalk in front of a clinic this Christmas we can help to save our world by saving one single baby at a time....maybe we'll even be a part of bringing a righteous president into the world.


"Each one of them is Jesus in disguise."
Mother Teresa

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Okay...we lost....

I spent most of last week pretty depressed about the election and then just decided to remain positive...I also have to admit that I am excited about having an African American president. BUT I would have much rather had an extremely pro life president. My family was fighting and my husband and I realized that we had to put on happy faces for the kids who have to face friends that voted for OBAMA. So we have agreed to pray for the president even though we don't agree with him. And so we say things like "Dear God, protect our president and his family and change his heart regarding little babies." It is really hard for me as a post abortive woman to remain optimistic when I feel like the doors to abortion under any circumstance are about the be blown wide open...but I am planning on being pro active. i am writing a bible study for mothers and daughters to discuss abortion....and I will continue to fight. i am also going to go through training at our local Pregnancy Support Services office in I can help with the post abortive and abortion minded women. I will pray they will be moved to give life....OH and I submitted my manuscript for my book to be edited today.....

Monday, November 3, 2008

John McCain and His Pattern of Resurrection

First off I am in no way comparing John McCain to Jesus. Lately I have been waking up very discouraged about the campaign. Being a serious pro life advocate I cannot endorse Obama. I just don't see him as contributing to eliminating Roe V Wade or even creating any limitations. In fact it appears via the Freedom of Choice act he will eliminate any restrictions...So this morning I woke up with a strong positive feeling pertaining to McCain's victory tomorrow. If we follow his pattern of 'coming from behind'...and defying death and adversity we have to put our trust that his good fortune will stand. First while in the military he watched as 134 men were killed when a jet crashed into the carrier he was on...he was burned and scarred then narrowly missing death. He was deployed to Vietnam within days. Then while in Vietnam only 4 months after that incident his plane went down and as he was drowning at the bottom of a lake with broken arms he opened his inflatable vest with his he surfaced he was taken as a prisoner of war. ...His wife and mother agreed that he was dead only to find out the GOOD NEWS that he was a prisoner of war instead...And then the doctors who took care of him thought he was within hours of death...he survived....after all of that he made it back to Washington after solitary confinement and years as a pow. This year during the primaries when Huckabee and Romney were considered the most likely victors he prevailed..Now he has been down in the he puts it "Obama is measuring the drapes"...he has been verbally crucified in the press and basically characterized in the worst way ever repeatedly by them....but somehow today as i look at how his life has evolved I can't help but think that tomorrow is going to be another bright day for John McCain. Why has God kept him alive for so long? Why has God resurrected him repeatedly? He has endured so much for this country...he is a good man that believes in the values of America and is proud of what it is and can be. I believe he has been uniquely and in a way unfortunately (through his suffering) qualified to run the country that he has fought for..And I also believe that God will have favor on his service and mercy on our country. When we see the McCain slogan COUNTRY FIRST....this is something he truly believes in and has lived out....McCain is destined for this position and I feel in my heart today that tomorrow is his victory....

Thursday, October 30, 2008

What does Planned Parenthood do today with babies born alive?

Monday, October 27, 2008

What this election is like to one post abortive woman...

Twenty seven years ago I had an abortion. I thought I would come out of it free and empowered because I bought the lies of Planned Parenthood and the women's movement who championed my rights wholeheartedly. I was surprised when I immediately fell into a deep depression and months later struggled with thoughts of suicide. The feelings were intense and the sadness was great. Prior to abortion, I was always happy and handled stress in an exceptional way. But this was different. I had a baby ripped from my womb and felt totally violated. YES..I made that choice. I do take responsibility for that awful choice. THis is a choice I know for a fact I would not have taken had abortion been illegal. But I was lied to and caught off guard by the attack my body felt it had been under and I totally felt as if I had been abused emotionally as well following the abortion. With God's grace..therapy and the blessings of a great family I can say that I am healed...but the scars are there...AND all I can say is watching this election brings up so much. On the one hand I had been waiting fervently for the topic of abortion to come up in the election hoping that those who saw Obama's record on born alive babies would be shocked, disgusted and say to themselves "eventhough I am liberal I would never vote for a man who would make that kind of judgement." Well for the most part I am watching people as they worship and elevate a man who advocates the type of victimization and violation that women like myself had to work way too hard to heal within themselves....THere are women who kill themselves post abortion. There are women who remain silent forever and struggle in relationships. There are women who are infertile post abortion...the list goes on..Imagine..watching OBAMA standing proudly in front of the Planned Parenthood sign or hearing him say "my first act as president with be to sign the Freedom of Choice act". Imagine knowing that more women will potentially endure what took years to undo to myself and many others like myself. It is as if we are watching the executioner be deified by the entire society thereby minimizing our pain and our suffering.. We watch as more women are led to the slaughter..not even given the proper information or acknowledgement that there is a potential for psychological damage.I can imagine it is similar to someone who has been raped and has to watch as the rapist is let off to continue raping. And watching the people who know he has raped still inviting him to their christmas and cocktail parties....everytime I see Obama stand up there with the crowd applauding and vowing to put him in the position to sign a bill that will eliminate virtually any limitation on abortion I cringe. I cannot imagine what some of the women who are stuggling more than I are experiencing...Yes there are women out there who do not regret their abortions..but there are many many like myself..I am not the only one who struggled intensely after aborting their babies. If I didn't believe that Jesus has forgiven me i would be beside myself right now....Between his not agreeing several times to the born alive protection act...vowing to allow abortions even into the 8th or 9th month, advocating that parents are not notified and saying he wouldn't want his daughter punished with a child...I am sorry but I will always be looking at OBama and other abortion advocates as the man who opened the door to my pain and continues to hold that door open to the dozens of women who will unknowingly be walking into their depression, anxiety, guilt and regret..THANK YOU PRESIDENT OBAMA for continuing to punish the women who made that mistake while making them watch as their little sisters head into the slaughter.....

Justice for All

I was in NYC almost all of last week. But i was fortunate enough tuesday night to be able to host this amazing organization called Justice for All which travels to campuses with this very graphic and large display to engage students in conversation regarding life. They are non confrontational but their display is very aggressive. So, they are all from Kansas with some other volunteers from all over the place. I hosted the director David Lee and one other guy...We also provided a meal to 15 of the volunteers. This was really great. I was exhausted but I had a great time speaking with all of them. UNC is very liberal so the second day was really tough for them. They also host a training which I wasn't able to engage in because I was out of town. These volunteers are very passionate and sometimes discouraged. We really need an army of volunteers helping to educate people and the truth is that most pro lifers don't have the stamina to stand in front of a crowd or behind a bull horn...But that has to change as we are losing lives because there aren't enough people to stand in the gap...Pray for this group. I really enjoyed them and would love to see them come to NYC where I am sure they will be met with intense disdain but it would also be the talk of all of NYC if they were able to get there...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Disturbed! Living in the Twilight Zone!

I'm disturbed. I am totally utterly disturbed. Shouldn't I be disturbed by the potential never ending amount of abortions in this country? I would love to title this post "hopeful". I was hopeful and still do hold out an iota of hope for the end to come for abortions. BUT sometimes I look around and cannot believe i live in a world chock full of people who daily over look the death of millions of kids. I am not only talking about abortions either. There are 148 million orphans and another million children in sex trafficking and many more suffering. AM I LIVING IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE? Where is the compassion? Where is the logic in the American people? In the people of the world...Why are so many people over looking the truth and embracing lies? I feel as if I am frozen at an that offers hope for life and the other that says if America walks down this road we are all doomed especially the unborn. And I know from personal experience that means more women will have to be blindsided by the devastation they will feel after they legally abort. Most women would never abort if abortion were illegal. I wouldn't have! My daughter would be here today. BUt I am disturbed because if we walk down the road to life then young women today and their children will be saved. If America chooses to walk down the other road with a leader that says it is OKAY TO KILL then we are all doomed......It is indeed I stand in wait for the votes to be counted....

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Obama CItizenship!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Obama Slum Lord!

God help us all if Obama becomes President....

This is a short video of one of the projects he was involved in...

Black Genocide...

Being the mother of 3 Ethiopian children...I feel it is a responsibility to their mother who died of AIDS in Ethiopia to assure them a future that would not see them as degenerates and target the killing of their children. There is nothing that I look forward to more than seeing my daughters and sons grow up to have the freedom to grow to be healthy enough to raise and take care of their kids. I want to also have the privilege of being the grandmother for their children not only for myself but for their mother Bayoush who never lived to see them married or have children. Abortion has taken way too many babies. Abortion has targeted way too many minorities (blacks and hispanics). My Guatemalan daughter should also be given the same freedom and not be trapped into believing that it is her right and okay to abort her babies. It is so disgusting to me to have a man like Barack Obama who claims to be a spokesperson for African Americans really be more a spokesperson for Planned Parenthood (which is the murderous organization ) targeting his people. He should be ashamed as an African American to be used in that way....As a white mother with hispanic and african children it is often assumed that I would vote for Obama...there is no way. WHY? Because I want more for my African children then what Obama is offering..

Saturday, October 4, 2008

PRO LIFE OBAMA: an Oxymoron!

This just takes the cake. Someone please wake me when this election is over. And if McCain and Palin don't win I would like to find my own planet somewhere. I will invite all of the true christians and pro life/conservatives. This planet would have people who actually show compassion and love for one another and still care about human life. Oh..also on this planet the TRUTH would be known and those telling lies would not be allowed to live there. There would be instant intervention for people who don't see the TRUTH. They would first be given the chance to see through the eyes of love rather than hate and deception. Once the truth is revealed they could stay as long as they promised never to deceive another human being. PROLIFE OBAMA...HUH? OBAMA IS NOT PRO LIFE (that was intended to be a shout) case any of the emergent christians or lost catholics that have devised this organization don't know that already..Oh and JESUS is not synonomous with INFANTICIDE OR ABORTION....OBAMA IS SYNONOMOUS with infanticide and abortion......YIKES...and part of the organization is called MATTHEW 25...remember the scripture of taking care of the least of these. Remember the goats were not allowed in heaven because they didn't take care of the least of these by offering food and clothing...that would also include LIFE....This so ticks me off that I am rambling now....But perhaps we can be allowed in heaven and considered sheep in the eyes of Jesus on judgment day and allowed on HIS planet in Heaven....check it out yourselves..

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Would Sarah Palin have been disqualified?

Carol Fowler, the leader of the SC Democrat party said that "the only qualification that Sarah Palin has is that she has never had an abortion." Obviously, this was an outrageous and hideous comment. In seeing how the Republicans have embraced Sarah Palin I doubt it would've made a difference to them if she had one or not. But it would have been interesting to see how the Democrats would have handled a post abortive Republican candidate. Would they have criticized her as being incapable of governing because of the poor choice she made as a teenager? Would they have said that women who have aborted are not capable of making rational decisions? Would the Republicans have considered Sarah Palin as an unsuitable candidate had that information come out during the vetting process? Considering the fact that there are millions of post abortive women out there, it is interesting that few women in public office admit to ever having had an abortion. Certainly we don't hear of either Republican or Democrat women freely sharing that information. Is it possible that none of the female Democrat senators, congresswomen or lobbyists have never aborted? The Guttmacher institute says that 1 in 3 women ages 40+ have aborted. It is unlikely that there are no govt leaders that have aborted. Then why don't we hear about it. As a post abortive woman I know that there is shame, guilt and regret in having once aborted my child. But I am now pro life and acknowledge that life is sacred and that Planned Parenthood is feeding women lies. But we would assume that if the experience of abortion is as liberating and freeing as the pro choice women's movement would want you to believe...why aren't more women making their happy, fulfilling, abortions known. If it is such a RIGHT OF PASSAGE for women and there is no stigma then where are the post abortive and PROUD Democrat political women? I am guessing that although they promote the practice they don't want to be known as a woman who would walk that path. Just wondering what the Democrat party would have said if the VP candidate was a Republican post abortive women with a down syndrome child. I suspect she would have been extremely harassed but the Democrat post abortive woman would be praised.....

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

When Will it End?

I am feeling a little blue tonight for some reason. I guess it is because I am so aware that this election could offer so much hope or a turn for the worse regarding abortion. It saddens me to think of the women that will continue to choose abortion due to not being exposed to the truth. The voices of the choice movement are so loud and the voices of the pro life movement are constantly silenced. I wish someone would have spoken up loudly enough when I walked into the abortion clinic. No one was there to protest. No one was there to challenge me. Meanwhile, young women are walking out of the clinics everyday believing that their CHOICE will give them freedom. What they won't know until it hits them like a ton of bricks is that they may be met with a huge amount of grief, regret, and dread. They may never forgive themselves. They don't know (unless someone tells them) that they not only will crave that baby but will spend their lives living with an empty part in their hearts. I pray it ends. I long for the TRUTH to be told and the lies to be erased. But I know this is the WORLD and that so many of us are polluted by it. But in the meantime, I want to believe that I can see a day where all people acknowledge that the Life that God created is sacred and not to be touched. When will it end? I don't know. I pray it is soon.....

Sunday, September 28, 2008

NYC! Where REPUBLICAN is a dirty word...

In Ny if you are Christian, conservative and an advocate for traditional marriage and LIFE you are destroyed by the people who claim to allow diversity...check out this video:

Friday, September 26, 2008

John Piper: Racism and abortion!

John Piper on Abortion!

I love John Piper...

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Ezekial and Abortion!

I bought a bible from the discount bible outlet about 5 years ago. One day (about 5 months after I had been writing in it and reading it) I noticed that the first 19 books of Ezekial were missing. Yesterday at our Tender Mercies bible study we were each given a passage to read. I had the discount bible with me and was given Ezekial 13: 9-16. I had to borrow a bible to read it. Well all I can say is WOW.....I kept reading and reading...because it spoke volumes to me. Now I wonder what all of the rest of Ezekial is telling us and am picking up the other bibles in my house to read.

Here are just some snippets from Ezekial 13: I feel they are so applicable to the abortion issue (especially the politics).

Ezekial 13: 9-12 My hand will be against the prophets who see false visions and utter lying divinations. They will not belong to the council of my people or be listed in the records of the house of Israel, nor will they enter the land of Israel. Then you will know that I am the Sovereign LORD.

10 " 'Because they lead my people astray, saying, "Peace," when there is no peace, and because, when a flimsy wall is built, they cover it with whitewash, 11 therefore tell those who cover it with whitewash that it is going to fall. Rain will come in torrents, and I will send hailstones hurtling down, and violent winds will burst forth. 12 When the wall collapses, will people not ask you, "Where is the whitewash you covered it with?"

The video I posted with Bernard Nathanson supports the fact that the entire pro choice movement was designed to promote the lie of abortion and create an acceptance for abortion/legalization. And here we are 35 years post roe v wade and about 40 years after the conception of NARAL and this 'false vision and divination" is still a very destructive force. However, there is hope...God says he will collapse the walls.

Ezekial 13: 17-19
17 "Now, son of man, set your face against the daughters of your people who prophesy out of their own imagination. Prophesy against them 18 and say, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the women who sew magic charms on all their wrists and make veils of various lengths for their heads in order to ensnare people. Will you ensnare the lives of my people but preserve your own? 19 You have profaned me among my people for a few handfuls of barley and scraps of bread. By lying to my people, who listen to lies, you have killed those who should not have died and have spared those who should not live.

verse 19 gives me chills....YOU HAVE KILLED THOSE WHO SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED AND SPARED THOSE WHO SHOULD NOt true. And there is something sinister and witchcraft like about stripping a baby from a womb. It wreaks of witchcraft and the devil. Also, he says "WILL YOU ENSNARE THE LIVES OF MY PEOPLE BUT PRESERVE YOUR OWN?" God's people are being lied to and become ensnared. Those women who choose to be preserved promote abortion to innocent people to continue to create a pretense of massive acceptance when the truth is that good people are being caught in this trap of lies and lured away from God's truth...

Ezekial 13:
20 " 'Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against your magic charms with which you ensnare people like birds and I will tear them from your arms; I will set free the people that you ensnare like birds.

GOD goes all out to save us even when ensnared and even when we have gone through with the abortion. He longed to bring us back wounded and all into HIS arms. He will give us wings again.

EZ 13:21 I will tear off your veils and save my people from your hands, and they will no longer fall prey to your power. Then you will know that I am the LORD. 22 Because you disheartened the righteous with your lies, when I had brought them no grief, and because you encouraged the wicked not to turn from their evil ways and so save their lives, 23 therefore you will no longer see false visions or practice divination. I will save my people from your hands. And then you will know that I am the LORD.' "

Jesus will save us and yet He even shows some mercy allowing those who do harm to witness the truth of the Lord....they too will know that He is Lord. The TRUTH (HIS TRUTH) will set us all free...

Last Surviving Founding Member of Naral!

Born Alive!

This video says it all....and was made by GRANNYGRUMP at

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Tender Mercies! And Compassion!

Tomorrow I start the Tender Mercies bible study. I am very excited about it. I love the title of the study. I don't know much about it with the exception that there are only 3 of us in the class and we will be at a church in Chapel Hill which is a drive.

I must admit that for awhile (in July and August) I was wondering why the TV and Radio channels weren't discussing Barack Obama's "BORN ALIVE " stance and His strong position on supporting Planned Parenthood and a woman's right to abort. Originally I was really really really happy to start hearing dialogue with the campaign regarding abortion. And i still am so happy about Sarah Palin's infusing the awareness regarding LIFE both via her down syndrome baby and her daughter's pregnancy. But i also find moments of sadness when the reality of the abortion issue is so in our faces. It is so sad to see people denying life and arguing against life but heavily for women's rights to choose. It was a long journey for me but it is clear that being pro woman shouldn't be synonomous with advocating abortion. Many women like myself fall into a devastating depression following abortion. Some committ suicide..others live with an emptiness forever. It is sad to see other women advocating for something that can wreak such torment in a woman. AND it is also disappointing to have the conversations steer away from the LIFE issue. What about the baby? The pro choice groups don't ever want to discuss LIFE. If you bring it up you must be anti woman. Advocating for children is very PRO WOMAN . Advocating to find ways to allow women to keep their children is pro woman. Being angry with people who support killing babies is PRO WOMAN. When I say the subject of abortion being in the media is depressing to me, it is because there is so much at stake. Those of us who call ourselves PRO LIFE can see hope in a party that strongly advocates for life...but we can also see the potential for more lives to be lost if a prochoice candidate is allowed to be our President. Barack Obama is determined to bring evangelical christians to the voting booths to vote for him. He is even bringing a FAITH rally here to NC using such emergent church leaders as Donald Miller to speak out for Obama as being CHRISTIAN. It is not Christian to kill innocent babies. Jesus implored us to take care of orphans and widows. The abandoned unborn children are orphans as well. If we want to continue with God's work we will be Purely Religious and act to save the children. Standing for a party that allows and accepts CHOICE to kill is not in line with Christs teachings....Jesus is merciful and wants them to live...and He wants to ask us to help the women too by not allowing them to walk into a pit that they may never get out of...Please pray for our country and for the destructive legacy left behind by 35 years of ROE V WADE...

Friday, September 19, 2008

Who's Talking!

So statistics show that 78% of women who abort claim to be from a religion. By the time we reach 40 they say 1 in 3 women have aborted. Since 1973 there have been 50 million abortions. Let's say that 1/3 of them have aborted twice ( I don't have the actual statistics)...well then there would still be 15-20 million women out there who have aborted. Having come out of the closet through intense prayer recently, I am seriously aware that women do not talk about their abortions. And the women in churches would have you believe that you are the only one. I am in a church with 2000 people. So far I am the only person who has come out of the closet to talk about it. I will tell you that the abortion i had was 27 years ago. I swore i would never talk about it with anyone but my husband (who was not the happened 6 years before we were married). I also really know that I am healed through Jesus. So, when I decided to 'come out' i didn't really expect to still have intense feelings on the subject. But I will say that it is cathartic to talk about it. I have found further healing ...And next week I start a bible study called 'Tender Mercies'. I will say though that along with further healing I am also experiencing further disappointment. It is very lonely out here being one of the few of the 15-20 million women to actually be talking about their experience. It is also disappointing to find out that so many women are so locked into the lies of the abortion movement. I have learned being pro life and speaking out about your bad abortion experience is the equivalent of being a whistle blower in a very corrupt company with a favorable reputation. I cannot help but tell the truth but also have to understand the power of the 35 years of lies regarding abortion. I believe if more of us would talk about our disappointment, regret, depression, guilt, anger....we would have the potential to drown out the voices of the prochoice movement arguing have the right to choose to kill. No one should have the right to rip a baby out of their womb. Not many people are talking and we should be hearing the shouts of the women who have now seen the light after being hurt by abortion....not many are talking and some will never talk...some may never be healed because they can't even cry out to anyone....we have to fess up to our sin and move on to reveal the truth. The truth will set you free and the lies will continue to kill. We have to scream out when we hear women like Michelle Obama say 'women want abortions." MOST WOMEN DO NOT WANT ABORTIONS... they want their babies but make bad choices based on speaking out, in talking we can help to erase the lies and begin to shed light on the truth...let's talk....scream, shout out...THIS IS WRONG ....HELP US TO GIVE OUR BABIES LIFE...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

More on Pregnancy Centers!

So my friend works for a pregnancy center here. Her job is to raise awareness at the universities. This is really intense because I live in a heavy university town (UNC, NCSU, DUKE, MEREDITH, Wake Tech, Wake Forest). But what is so disturbing is that the UNC OB nurse is from Planned Parenthood and the Health Center at the university is advised to refer pregnant clients to Planned Parenthood. There is also a woman on the campus who is radically angry toward Pregnancy support and doesn't want their presence visible on the campus. So people who want to make the women aware of where it go for support during pregnancy really have their work cut out for them. They are usually told that they will get no support from the university and have to work directly with the student groups or students for advocacy......this is so humbling....If the women don't know where to go it is like a scared mouse stuck at the end of a confusing maze with only one exit available...out of desperation they walk through the one open door sure to kill their baby.....This election is so important in November..there is so much hope but also the potential for a political climate that allows further acceptance of abortion clinics showing up in malls where girls that usually have to get permission slips to go on a field trip will not need one to walk in for an abortion or to to bring home the abortion pill to administer on their own in their bedrooms.....with their parents not knowing that their child may be witnessing fetal tissue in the toilet.....and immense is so scary...

Please pray......

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Pregnancy Crisis Centers

I am going to be taking a course for post abortive women called "Tender Mercies". We start on 9/24. I am very excited about it. I am being offered this class through Durham's Pregnancy Support Services (a crisis pregnancy center). I am also planning on becoming a volunteer there.

Today South Dakota announced this really cool program with churches called LAMPSTAND. They are determined to make women know that they have support in the churches for their unplanned pregnancies. THey want to have 800 churches signed up...check it out... I will move to South Dakota if I end up not liking NC. I will endure the cold just to live in a state filled with powerful pro life advocates.

When I was pregnant the women at the abortion clinic warned me not to go into a pregnancy crisis center because I would be kidnapped and not allowed to leave. If you go to which is Planned Parenthood's teen site, you will read all kinds of lies regarding Pregnancy support centers etc.

Currently, women gravitate to the only place they know of to go when they become pregnant (Planned Parenthood's abortion clinics)..If we can just get an army of support for these women and word out of where to go when their pregnancies happen we will see a huge difference in the amount of abortions...


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Emotional Choice!

There is so much discussion all the time with how much thought goes into the decision to abort. Most people say ( and barack obama recently said it) that women put great thought into their abortions. i don't think that is true. Is it really true? We seem to claim a position based on conversations we have with people in our lives who may fall on either side of the equation. For me, my family was mostly pro choice. We are hugely influenced too by the people we love.
AND as far as abortion goes i am learning that so many people just identify themselves to be either for choice or life without really spending anytime researching both positions. I also believe that once you are in that position you make your choice from a place of emotion and desperation. So, if you don't spend time really getting some great information from both sides prior to being in the scary position to be a pregnant teen then you gravitate toward the easy choice. It really takes so much more courage to have the baby. I knew that . I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to sacrifice my career and life and that abortion was easier than setting up an adoption plan. And what is really sad is that the churches are still very reluctant to really delve into the subject with the exception of the annual sanctity of life sunday. They just are so afraid to really talk about it..AND YET PLANNED PARENTHOOD has a marketing budget. So when a young woman or teen is pregnant she will go to the only place she knows of...the YELLOW PAGES or an ad in the back of the free voice magazines and walk into the den of death out of desperation. Some may even think that they will get unbiased advice not understanding that the 'clinics' make their money when you abort and lose money when they have to support pregnant women. When we don't talk about it or don't make it clear what "LIFE " is...what the repercussions are to abortion prior to pregnancy then the girl in her emotional state may believe that the ladies at Planned Parenthood answering her calls are the ones who care about her and are leading her toward a healthy solution to her problem. Of course I can say from experience that Godly counsel is hard to get or hear when you are already walking the path to the clinic...the emotions are too raw and there is no the CHOICE is already suspect....We need to encourage our youth groups, churches and families to talk about could save a life.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Demotherizing America! Reviving Martha and Mary!

When I was 19, I totally bought into the rhetoric of the women's movement. According to their message, 'pro woman' means pro abortion. There was also a loud and clear message that you couldn't be pro woman if you were pro life. I also believed that abortion was my total right and would empower me by freeing me up to pursue more 'lofty goals', such as being anything else but a mother. When I had my abortion at 19, I was totally caught off guard with my feelings of guilt, regret and mainly powerlessness. In my deep depression I felt alone and really honestly believed I was the only pro woman post abortive woman to start to believe that my so-called SISTERS like Gloria Steinem and Margaret Sanger were not looking out for my best interests after all. Abortion is not pro woman and indeed not liberating. This past week, Gloria Steinem wrote an op-ed piece regarding Sarah Palin called "Palin; Wrong Woman.." In the piece she says the following regarding Sarah Palin:

"She opposes just about every issue that women support by a majority or plurality."

Give me a minute to respond to Ms. Steinem:
"Excuse me Ms. Steinem, but you are very out of touch with the women of America. If anybody is unsuited to speak on behalf of American women, it is you. Please stop speaking lies regarding the female majority and what it is that you think that we want. You have no clue! When McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate, hope was implanted back into the hearts and wombs of the women of America who have been violated by the abortions that you advocated for. With your advocacy through the years, all hope was lost for me and others like me that have been scarred by abortion, that now see abortion for what it truly is: the destruction of another human being, our sons and daughters. The more you speak or claim to speak for the MAJORITY of women, the more you steal them of their life affirming true power. I know now that nothing has empowered me more then expressing myself fully which includes motherhood, even when unplanned. You have DEMOTHERIZED women and America. This week with Sarah Palin representing the true female majority, we finally have been revived and are being resurrected with hope. You say in your piece that you are a "hope-a-holic". What are your hopes? That women will continue to be allowed to kill their babies and go through an abortion that could potentially lead them into deep sadness and regret? Do you hope that you can continue to advocate for women being in power as long as those women only believe that abortion is not an atrocity toward children and women? Ms. Steinem, please stop confusing the young women of America. If they continued to listen to you they may believe that not allowing abortion is the same as promoting STD's. They may believe that the Republican party is still not the party of women. There is a new face in the game and a new leader for us. You can retire now. This woman is relevant and speaks for the women of today. Her name is Sarah Palin and she is a republican mother. No she didn't abort her down syndrome baby. She would not have allowed her daughter to go through the hell of abortion, even if raped. And she wears a skirt, loves her children and husband and has the credentials to be in true power. She is the one who is speaking for the majority of the women, not you. If anyone is the wrong woman for the job of female leadership it is you."

Whew! Hope! When we witness how many children have been aborted and how many women are still hurting, it is hard to have hope. In the story about Lazarus in the bible (john 11:1-50) we see two women whose brother has been dead for days. The only hope they have is Jesus. Lazarus was ready for burial. All hope was gone. They were grieved. I relate so much to this story. The grief of losing a child is very deep. It can linger for a long time. Many of us have believed that the powers that be in govt will just continue to turn their eyes away from the life left inside of women, allowing that life to die. Jesus came and brought Lazarus back to life. Joy and hope filled the hearts and souls of Martha and Mary. I prayed for healing from my despair after abortion, and God healed me through my children. But there will also be a sadness as long as young women are kept away from the TRUTH. This week I believe that the Martha's and Mary's of our country that have aborted and lost hope can now see some light. Jesus is answering our prayers by reviving a women's movement too...this new movement embracing true feminism is also defined as embodying feminine character. We are mothers and proud of it. Sarah Palin is our leader. Gloria Steinem can retire.

ms. steinems piece:,0,1290251.story

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

19 and pregnant!

The focus on 17 year old Bristol Palin has brought up some intense memories for me. I thought maybe I would give some insight as to what it is like to find out you are pregnant before turning 20. It is so deeply complicated. But in a nutshell when a young woman discovers she is pregnant it is sheer fear and desperation that causes her to abort her baby. Very few women abort because of an intense and happy desire to abort. (ps..check out the studies of David Reardon of the Elliot on the side of this blog). I found out I was pregnant when i was 19. My mother was a single mother and my Dad was not in our financial picture. My mother also had just remarried and made it clear that she had been looking forward to living on her own with my wonderful stepfather without any children at home. I had to support myself financially and had been doing so for a couple of years at that point. I had an incredible job singing and dancing at Disney. I was most rightly correct in believing I would lose that job and my benefits had I decided to tell them about the pregnancy. My mistake was to have premarital sex and live with a young man. Once I found out I was pregnant I felt that I had no one. And being alone without anyone saying "i will make it better. I will support you eventhough you made this mistake" is all that a young girl is longing for. Her greatest fear is rejection from her family and friends and inflicting disappointment on them. When young women with very little life experience are alone attempting to make this major decision for themselves run into a Planned parenthood that tells them 'this is the way to make it better,' they are so desperate that they believe the lie hook line and sinker. In a nutshell, the little angel falls and runs into the devil disguised as a caring sister or mother. THe girl then hears the rationale from Planned parenthood that this is the best choice and they don't even focus or acknowledge the real live human being living and growing inside. Sad still to admit my family was pro choice and as much as we all love eachother if we are being really honest the support I would have received would have been support in making my choice to abort. I have happily found forgiveness no doubt from Jesus. But the reality is that because of the complexities of the issue young women are given weeks to make a decision that requires mature and Godly counsel. In all honesty, many of us who oppose abortion also will oppose government support or welfare for unwed women facing a crisis pregnancy. It is hugely difficult for the women who choose to keep their babies as well and yet LIFE is the only proper choice. It also takes intense courage to come out with this news and greater courage to go through with the pregnancy when living in a pro choice family. These women need support because the largest demographic for crisis pregnancies are college aged students and minorities. Both of which usually have little financial support. I pray for more acceptance for young women who decide to make a positive choice in giving life to their babies. But look at what is going on in the media right now. The liberal media that is controlled by the same media that will champion women's right to choose will crucify a mother who chooses to support her daughter and the young mother choosing to keep her baby. Sarah Palin and her husband made such a positive statement regarding their support for their daughter Bristol and her young fiance. I want to say "amen' to that. But I also cringe at the media coverage and wonder how many young women today are saying to themselves "i am heading to the abortion clinic because I don't want to be attacked and met with the same venom as they are handing out to Bristol and her mother." Our society is hugely twisted. I wonder if someone can have the courage to ask Barack Obama if the reason he didn't choose Hillary for his running mate was because she was a mother. Or is it okay because she only had one child or perhaps she chose abortion in her never know...but we really need to pray that God is victorious in moving the hearts, minds and souls of these young women that are pregnant today to seeing the potential for a world that is run by women who scream out and say "it is not pro women to allow us to kill our babies."

Why I changed my mind about John McCain!

I never was intending on voting for Obama. I was clear about that especially after hearing about the born alive bill and his stance on choice. However, I also was totally not excited about McCain. I have been known to stay home or vote for Ralph Nadar or someone when i am ticked off with my candidates. However a few weeks back when I watched Rick Warren's summit at Saddleback it was so clear to me. It dawned on me during the interview that McCain clearly showed a passion and an attitude toward service. It also dawned on me that we have such media bias. Up to that point I had never heard or seen John McCain's personality. The media just gives him such little air time. I was pleased that he answered directly and clearly at the summit. He looked so much more experienced as well. And even though he was 72 I truly got the impression that this was a bold independent man with fresh vision. Granted I still wasn't passionate about him but decided after that interview that I was comfortable voting for him. And I liked his personality. Some of his political leanings are a little too liberal for me but was happy he was clear on LIFE. So, i was content to be voting for him. On Friday i watched TV as it was announced that Sarah Palin was the VP running mate. I literally was floored. I never ever expected such a bold and yet brilliant VP choice. I felt as if I was watching my favorite baseball team who was losing in the ninth inning and someone comes up to the plate and hits a grand slam and we win. I had been in this complacent resigned place of voting republican but losing and all of the sudden there is hope. The selection told me more about John McCain than it did about Sarah Palin even. He is bold, brilliant and not afraid to make a decision that is controversial but the right one. To continue the baseball metaphor i am seeing John McCain on the sidelines like Joe Torre (x Yankees manager) make the most brilliant change in the lineup possible and then they win the game. I am not sure if we will win the game. I am praying we will but I am invigorated and will be the first in line to vote in November. And I am praying that Sarah Palin can withstand the attacks on her family and character. And i pray she can inspire the US to have a conscience.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Fruit in the Seed!

“A Speedier Man-Killing”—Tertullian (c. 150 - c. 229)
As a preacher and theologian, Tertullian taunted the Roman Empire at every turn, defended believers against the persecution of the state, and often reprimanded Christians for compromising their faith. Famous for his faithfulness (an early developer of the doctrine of the “Trinity”) and his failures (his joining with the Montanists—a group who believed in extra-biblical revelation), Tertullian would not allow abortion to remain unchallenged by the Church.
In our case, murder being once for all forbidden, we may not destroy even the foetus in the womb, while as yet the human being derives blood from other parts of the body for its sustenance. To hinder a birth is merely a speedier man-killing; nor does it matter whether you take away a life that is born, or destroy one that is coming to the birth. That is a man which is going to be one; you have the fruit already in its seed.1

Tertullian, Apology, in The Ante-Nicene Fathers, vol. 3 (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1957), 25. In other translations, see Chapter 9.

Are Women of Faith Truly Pro-Life?

There is an organization called the Guttmacher Institute. I believe it is heavily connected to Planned Parenthood and therefore there is a potential for their research to be skewed a little. But still pro life organizations also use some of the research on abortion that the Guttmacher institute uses for many stats. One that I really found disturbing is that the Guttmacher Institute( )studies claim
that 78% percent of women who abort state they have a religious affiliation.

I am starting to believe that this statistic is true. In the past few weeks since coming out of the closet as a post abortive woman I have observed many of my christian friends in conversations express some kind of understanding for exceptions to allowing abortion etc. And of course I learned that many protestant churches United Methodist, Evangelical Lutherans and Presbyterians still agree that abortion is sanctioned in some cases. I have listened as Nancy Pelosi (who claims to be Catholic)quoted incorrectly the Catholic's view on when life begins. And of course Joe Biden who claims to be catholic and Barack Obama who says he is affiliated with a christian church.They are both pro choice. That one totally boggles my mind but I don't even want to go into it now because Obama is basically the poster child for abortion having voted against the born alive bill.

When I had my abortion I believe that I was totally confused on the subject even though I was raised in a Lutheran Church and surrounded by Christians. At 19 most of my friends at least believed in God and were a part of various protestant denominations but would say they believe women should have the right to abort.

Anyhow, my point is that I believe there needs to be more actual dialogue on the subject of life (and what it means to Jesus) in an effort to have women of faith truly understand what is at stake here and what the bible says on the subject. Here are a few quotes:

Ps 139:16 "Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Isa 46:3 "Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all you who remain of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since you were conceived."

Luke 2:21 "On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise him, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he had been conceived."

Jer 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

The churches seem to avoid the discussion with a 10 foot pole. Even the decidedly pro life churches try to stay away from such a controversial issue perhaps with the once a year sermon on the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Or they don't discuss it at all but place an insert in the flyer every January. I believe this avoidance hugely contributes to those Christian women walking into the abortion clinics and secretly killing their babies. My Christian girlfriends when in confidence have revealed the following information to me.

One friend told me about her sister who aborted while she was a christian but in college. She did end up marrying the father and have been married for many years now. My other girlfriend told me the story of her christian friend who had 4 children goes to church regularly and aborted her 5th child because she was getting older and was considering divorcing her husband. A teenage friend of my daughter who works for a christian organization is now on anti depressants because she had an abortion. She is in her 2nd year of college. My christian girlfriend told me that she can see how women can have abortions because sometimes it just isn't the right time and it wouldn't be FAIR to the child(death isn't fair either). I am entering an entirely different world here where women claim to be pro life and then abort their babies or they claim to be pro choice but say they are against abortion. Who are we and what do believe? And let's just admit to our own hypocrisy. This is stunning to me. Until I extended myself and started the conversations i assumed 'women of faith' were united in believing in the sanctity of life and were agaist abortion. I really feel that if we develop a close intimate relationship with Jesus we will not abort our babies. We would see them as sacred. Church, religion, claiming the title of christian or 'women of faith' doesn't necessarily guarantee a close relationship with Christ. Prayer and seeking His presence in your life will. Being obedient to His will and truly taking a leap of faith for Him when life is not planned will pull you into a closeness with Him that is undeniable. Exercise faith... In the meantime, remaining quiet on the subject as an effort to be 'politically correct', 'nice' and 'polite' is going to end up leading too many more babies to their deaths.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

What's an Abortion?

I have spent the week telling family members about the abortion I had 26 years ago. It has been exhausting emotionally. I knew i wanted to tell my 10 year old son because he is very bright and would be hearing me talk and would probably look at my book and I didn't want him to hear it second hand. I had intended on telling him in age appropriate terms. I thought I had thought of everything. So, we were in the living room alone with a rare quiet moment. And I told him about the book and told him about the abortion. He sweetly looked at me and said "What's an abortion?" I had remembered talking about abortion in the past with him and my oldest daughter but apparently he had forgotten. So i sort of just stared at him for a minute and explained in 10 year old terms. I then told him how Jesus is forgiving and has forgiven me. I also told him that he was surprisingly and miraculously conceived in the same town that I had aborted. And I had visited there with my husband for just a few days not intending on even trying and I became pregnant with him. I told him he was a miracle because I hadn't been back to that town in 15 years and then conceived him. I also told him that we are pro life and that he is pro life. He then said "what is pro choice?" when I mentioned the term. He said 'oohhh gross"...then he asked me what the difference is between republican and democrat and I just talked about pro life issues because that question is too intense and I wanted him to know what it meant to be pro life. So then he smiled at me and continued to play. Telling him had been weighing heavy on my heart and he just continued to hug me and love me and play. Incredible! Then I went to stir my vegetables and had to wipe a tear remembering how blessed I am with these children....a full quiver of 6.

Friday, August 29, 2008

The Alien World of the Womb!

I was blessed with the birth of my daughter Samantha 17 years ago. At her conception I had an inexplicable experience. I believe God gave me the experience to leave no doubt in my mind as to the power of life and conception. I was asleep and yet simultaneously very conscious. I felt my spirit hovering just inches above my body and horizontal with my sleeping body (I was laying on my back). I was frozen to the bed and could not move. I then felt another spirit come close to my hovering spirit. I was asked permission for this sweet, familiar spirit to unite with my spirit. When i said YES I felt this intense euphoric experience that was spiritual, physical, emotional. And even though I could not open my eyes (I desperately tried to) I was more aware and could feel more intensely than when i was awake. Then after I said "Yes" our two spirits powerfully coiled together and corkscrewed back into my body entering just below my belly button. The next morning I woke up exhilarated thinking that was an awesome experience. I wondered if i had conceived that night but just waited as the days passed by. I spoke to my girlfriend the next day. My friend is a Buddhist and very new age. She said to me "maybe you had an alien encounter." I laughed and said "no this was a friendly, loving soul that came from God." She told me aliens could come from God. Later that month I did discover that I conceived on that night. Weeks went by and when I felt the kicks of Sam my life and perspective on CHOICE changed in an instant. I had totally regretted my abortion and had worked through much grief but was still perplexed as to a woman's rights. I had told myself that maybe most women have positive experiences so still have the right to choose. But when Sam started to grow i knew i had made a mistake 10 years prior. This powerful active life residing inside of me was unquestionably alive and a gift from God. And yet I didn't come to that conclusion by way of religion. This was an actual true experience to me that was vivid and intense. I started to repent and simultaneously rejoice in God's restoration in me. I knew that He was giving me new life not only in the form of my daughter but also in the form of total forgivenss. My sins were washed away through His love. The months went by and I wondered what she looked like...I placed the sonogram picture on the fridge...I made copies and sent them to family members. I gazed upon her profile at 20 weeks. When she was born I gave my life back to Jesus and was never the same. Her birth was indeed a religious experience that brought me back to studying redemption, forgivenss and the character of God.

I believe that my friend wasn't so far off when she mentioned ALIENS.I think much of the pro choice world sees these souls as aliens. They don't understand how familiar and of our Creator they truly are. And they are not foreign or here to annihilate our world. Yes the world inside the womb is a mystery and might as well be in some other galaxy but it isn't. It is contained within our bodies. As women we are created with the most powerful ability create life. Life is so 'of God" and of our universe and 'of' His heaven. And these children are truly growing within us but not of us...I can see why some people may feel so diconnected. BUt in spite of the mystery and our incapacity to comprehend LIFE we have to admit the the embryo, fetus, infant, toddler, teen are all human and SACRED....because of that amazing mystery we need to contain and sacrifice 'our choice' for the sacredness of the mystery growing inside of us as a GIFT FROM THE CREATOR..not to be touched or destroyed by human hands.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Pro Choice but Anti Abortion!

I had a very disturbing week. But it was also the kind of week that makes you think. It started with a tech meeting for a concert we are doing at the United Methodist church. I ended up in a conversation about life and my book. The very sweet man who was chatting with me considers himself a christian and ended the conversation with "yeah but eventhough I am against abortion I consider myself pro choice." THen the next day I looked up the stance on abortion that the Evangelical Lutheran Church has. They also say it is okay to abort under certain circumstances. That made me contact one of my friends who is in leadership at the ELCA church that I grew up in. He confirmed that the Evangelical Lutheran's are in support of abortion. I spent an entire evening shocked by that and the next day very sad. I had assumed that most of the protestant denominations were pro life. The United Methodist Church and Presbyterians are also in favor of abortion under certain and many circumstances. I also believed that the denomination I was raised in was pro life. I have since learned that Lutheran's are pro life however the ELCA is not (thus the distinction). Even the Baptists just renounced exceptions in 2003. I am grateful to be in a non denominational pro life evangelical church. Then on top of which the entire presidential election process and the focus on abortion can leave those of us wounded by abortion in a sad place. I am saddened by the fact that people believe that being pro woman means being pro abortion. Not the case...check out Feminists for Life. I am saddened by the fact that Planned Parenthood uses the word choice but offers very few options or support other than abortions. I am saddened that the entire country is in denial and selfish in allowing human life to be destroyed. AND I am saddened that people can say "i am pro choice but anti abortion." The way I see it you are either or you aren't pro life. If you do not advocate for abortion then take a stance and support life. You can still advocate for women but not agree with abortion and the taking of human life. Trust me there is nothing pro woman about stripping a child from the womb before its natural birth. There is nothing pro woman about allowing women to believe they will be liberated and empowered after abortion. If Planned Parenthood were truly for informed choice then tell the women that they are killing a human and that there is the huge possibility that they could become extremely depressed and possibly suicidal post abortion. If you are pro choice and anti abortion then you cannot stand by and let women abort their babies. If you are anti abortion then you are against choosing to take life. You can't say "well I wouldn't do it for myself so I am anti abortion but support a woman's right to choose." If you believe the child is life and a human then please don't condone death to that child even if it isn't your own. But if you continue to say you are pro choice and anti abortion then you are still advocating for someone to take a human life. That means you are still anti life. It took one kick from my daughter to know that there was someone else residing in my body. We do not have the right to violate another human being. Women should be allowed to choose to be a mother but not at the cost of taking the life of a child.

First Post! Coming out of the abortion.

So, about 6 months ago I felt called to write a book. I was going to write a book about adoption. Next thing you know I am praying and the good Lord makes it clear that I have to tell my whole story. I am sure I am not hearing properly. So I pray again and write about adoption. Then I hear the words I figure...well it won't hurt to just write. I don't have to ever publish the book if I don't want to but it will be good therapy. I had told myself I would never ever ever ever ever tell anyone about the abortion I had when I was 19 (which by the way is over 20 years ago). But I started writing. I finished the book on my oldest daughter's birthday. The book is called "To Be a mother" and is going to be edited soon and I will self publish. The amazing thing was the book and my life are truly a testimony to God's forgiveness and grace in my life. I did end up becoming a mother and am so proud to be a mother of 2 children by birth and 4 adopted. I suffered intense depression and was near suicide post abortion but through prayer and the power of the Holy SPirit I somehow was saved.

I am calling this blog REVIVING MOTHERS because I pray that we all know God can revive us, forgive us and offer us an incredible life through His healing. I hope to also work with other post abortive women and women who have suffered great loss or are infertile. I believe we can all be mother's regardless of our past or physical limitations. I am also going to start a forum so we can all chat there in love.