Thursday, January 29, 2009

Prayer for Obama!

My mom sent this to me today!

Our Father who art in Heaven....
We worship You for Who You are...
Our Almighty God of the universe...
and we praise You for all You do.....

We pray for optimum health, mental clarity and spirtual
prosperity for President Barrack Obama.
We pray that what he lacks in 'experience' You
make up for with supernatural wisdom and power.
and that Your love will fill his heart to the
end that 'Your will' will be done through him.
We pray mightily for his protection. As we plead the Blood of
Jesus over him and his family, we ask You to dispatch legions
of angels to protect them from all hurt, harm, danger, and
from all accidents and incidents as he is the President of
the United States of America .
That the enemy will stumble and fall every time he comes
to destroy what you, Lord, are doing through this country.
We thank and praise You our Heavenly Father for answering
our sincere prayers. We pray believing and recieving in the
name that is above every name; in the name of Jesus Christ
of Nazereth, AMEN and AMEN...

Mother Teresa's words!

"America needs no words from me to see how your decision in Roe v. Wade has deformed a great nation. The so-called right to abortion has pitted mothers against their children and women against men. It has sown violence and discord at the heart of the most intimate human relationships. It has aggravated the derogation of the father's role in an increasingly fatherless society. It has portrayed the greatest of gifts -- a child -- as a competitor, an intrusion, and an inconvenience. It has nominally accorded mothers unfettered dominion over the independent lives of their physically dependent sons and daughters"
And, in granting this unconscionable power, it has exposed many women to unjust and selfish demands from their husbands or other sexual partners. Human rights are not a privilege conferred by government. They are every human being's entitlement by virtue of his humanity. The right to life does not depend, and must not be declared to be contingent, on the pleasure of anyone else, not even a parent or a sovereign." (Mother Theresa -- "Notable and Quotable," Wall Street Journal, 2/25/94, p. A14)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Pastor Ron's Podcast!Celebration of Life!

If you get a chance check this out (click here). It is a full sermon so takes awhile. I am also keeping a link on the sidebar. It was a sermon on 1/18th titled CELEBRATION FOR LIFE and was given by Pastor Ron Lewis at Kings Park International.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Praying for Obama!

I am the mother of 3 African children. I am also seriously pro life and did not vote for Obama because of my one issue voting. For my kids sake (not to create stress for them), we don't talk politics in front of them. I really want them to be proud of having an African man in the whitehouse. We even pray during meals for his family and kids. We commented during the inauguration how beautiful the girls looked. Well, then he voted to take off the restrictions for our funding to go toward abortions in Mexico. My youngest daughter was born in Guatemala by a 13 year old mother who didn't have funding for an abortion. Had she had that funding we would never know Matea and the joys that she brings to us. My mother would never be able to send her sweet grand daughter birthday cards with kittens on them. Matea wouldn't be around to show us how funny and smart and mature she is for her age. There are a bunch of little 3 year olds who wouldn't have a friend. Sarah, Rachel, Abby and Maggie would have one less girlfriend at their birthday party. I think about the babies in Mexico and the rest of the world like Guatemaa that will not be born and that will not bring joy to their families.

I can't find a balance. I am so afraid of what FOCA means to my children and my potential grandchildren. I find myself hating Obama although I know that we are all able to be transformed through Jesus. I tell myself the battle is with the devil rather than OBama and then Nancy Pelosi makes a comment that basically says it is fiscally sound to kill babies that could be born to African American children in the urban centers...My daughters are oldest is reaching the target age for abortion...18...After that comment by Nancy Pelosi, I blame Obama too because I know he is a part of the party that believes that fewer people and abortion is somehow economically and ecologically advantageous. So I pray....dear God please let me see a president that will somehow change his mind when it comes to abortion. Please God surround Obama with Godly counselors and let him listen to them...but then I also know he is surrounded by people who think that aborting 1.5 million babies a year is no issue. In fact they are considering upping Planned Parenthoods coffers by 4.6 billion....So, I am constantly conflicted...How do we deal with this kind of evil. DO we love the people that perpetuate it? I was a woman who aborted a baby..I am hated by some...still i was transformed by I LOVE OBAMA even when soon little babies around the world will be aborted in dirty abortion clinics in Mexico City and women in China will have their forced abortions paid for by our tax dollars????? Or do I focus my anger and frustration on him personally. He is afterall considered now to be the most powerful human on the planet. I know my battle is with the devil but when the devil inhabits humans how can we sit quiet and pray while we wait for an exorcism to take place in the oval office...I just pray somehow the demons scurry away back into some desolate place in another universe..because I feel like I am living in the twilight zone and can't be totally sincere in my prayers for OBama....Still I do pray every night for God to protect him and then I also pray "Dear Lord, please protect the babies that aren't even born yet..." I am way too confused....

Pray for Property!

Keep praying for the property that we want to buy next to the abortion clinic. I am very encouraged. I met with a woman who is very interested in running the cpc we want to put up on the spot. She has been in the Crisis Pregnancy Center business for 30 years,has a loving and simultaneously feisty spirit. LOVE HER! I have a few more meetings in hopes of acquiring the property and I have a business model brewing to make this the first of other acquisitions (provided we can get investors).....

Friday, January 23, 2009

This video rocks...amazing.

Posted using ShareThis

Monday, January 19, 2009

Is Abortion a Craft?

I just finished reading an article written by this pro choice woman named Marcy Bloom called "Jailhouse Journal of an Abortion Provider." This article is Marcy's commentary on a book by Dr. Bruce Steir, an abortionist who is in jail for the homicide conviction due to one of his botched abortions. In the article Ms. Bloom also calls his conviction a "witch hunt" thereby classifying individuals who want to see an honest investigation and legal process followed through for the death of a woman at his hands, as evil. And also calls the pro lifers "vicious anti-abortion" groups....Knowing the article was written by a pro choice individual, I wasn't reading anything that I hadn't read before. She characterized Dr. Steir as being someone who spent his life caring for women and the health of women while she also says he performed 40,000 abortions in his career. In a nutshell, she elevated him to be some sort of saintly member of our society. The one thing that really got me though is her use of the word "craft'. She described his profession as a 'craft'. Is abortion a craft? Being involved in the arts and having worked for years closely with musicians who truly have crafted their art, I have to say I am totally annoyed and insulted when I hear a pro choicer using the word CRAFT to describe the process of aborting a baby. When my husband was studying piano and music theory the goal was to be able to perform at a level that was effortless but that inspired others and touched people through music. I have watched as people have been healed and moved to tears through his craft. I have watched as people have raised their arms in Praises to God through his craft (a God given gift). When an artist works on a painting they are trying really hard to express something deep inside their soul and transfer it to canvas or on another medium. Even if that work of art evokes anger or evil it does not literally take a life...and I don't know of any other 'craft' designed to kill...Do we refer to Ted Bundy as having studied the craft of being a serial killer? 40,000 abortions. I am sure this man was an excellent abortionist...according to many in the pro choice community. But the result of his so called art was a dead baby. If there is any 'craft' to be attached to the moniker of this man then I would just have to call it witch craft....To take a woman and rip a baby out of her womb would have to be something that is not inspired by the word 'craft' in the beautiful creative sense should not be applied to the abortionist.... GOd crafts us to be ALIVE, in Psalm 139 it says "you knit us in our mother's womb" and "you saw our unformed body." God himself is the ultimate craftsman. If I walked up to God standing before me with His knitting needles and ripped the yarn out from the sweater He was making for me or grabbed it and soaked it in some liquid that would destroy it...or I said "no thanks..I am too young for your gift ..." or " made one sleeve too small..I can't wear that it won't work in my lifestyle." If others witnessed me destroying God's knitting would they call my ability to rip and tear a CRAFT? ...Likewise, the individual who would reach inside a woman's womb to take apart piece by piece an amazing work of art (the human baby) is defying God. Learning how to effortlessly rip the arms, legs and then head of a human from a womb does not deserve to be identified as a work of an is however not of God and therefore, if Marcy Bloom thinks that Dr. Steir is a craftsman then lets be real and call it "witch craft."

Sunday, January 18, 2009


A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America: National Sanctity of Human Life Day, 2009
President George W. Bush (January 18, 2009)

The sanctity of life is written in the hearts of all men and women. On this day and throughout the year, we aspire to build a society in which every child is welcome in life and protected in law.

(Washington, DC)—The following text is A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America: National Sanctity of Human Life Day, 2009:

Pres. Bush during his farwell addressAll human life is a gift from our Creator that is sacred, unique, and worthy of protection. On National Sanctity of Human Life Day, our country recognizes that each person, including every person waiting to be born, has a special place and purpose in this world. We also underscore our dedication to heeding this message of conscience by speaking up for the weak and voiceless among us. (Photo:

The most basic duty of government is to protect the life of the innocent. My Administration has been committed to building a culture of life by vigorously promoting adoption and parental notification laws, opposing Federal funding for abortions overseas, encouraging teen abstinence, and funding crisis pregnancy programs. In 2002, I was honored to sign into law the Born-Alive Infants Protection Act, which extends legal protection to children who survive an abortion attempt. I signed legislation in 2003 to ban the cruel practice of partial birth abortion, and that law represents our commitment to building a culture of life in America. Also, I was proud to sign the Unborn Victims of Violence Act of 2004, which allows authorities to charge a person who causes death or injury to a child in the womb with a separate offense in addition to any charges relating to the mother.

America is a caring Nation, and our values should guide us as we harness the gifts of science. In our zeal for new treatments and cures, we must never abandon our fundamental morals. We can achieve the great breakthroughs we all seek with reverence for the gift of life.

The sanctity of life is written in the hearts of all men and women. On this day and throughout the year, we aspire to build a society in which every child is welcome in life and protected in law. We also encourage more of our fellow Americans to join our just and noble cause. History tells us that with a cause rooted in our deepest principles and appealing to the best instincts of our citizens, we will prevail.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim January 18, 2009, as National Sanctity of Human Life Day. I call upon all Americans to recognize this day with appropriate ceremonies and to underscore our commitment to respecting and protecting the life and dignity of every human being.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this fifteenth day of January, in the year of our Lord two thousand nine, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-third.

Sanctity of Life Weekend!

WHEW! What a weekend! I spent yesterday at 9:30 at a breakfast for the NC Right to Life organization. I was arbitrarily chosen out of 400 people to be one of 7 individuals to read a prayer. I also met a couple of Priests and many pro life individuals that mostly are catholic. The median age of the breakfast attendees was probably 65. I really enjoyed it . A woman named Kate Adamson spoke. She is a woman about my age who had a serious stroke at the age of 33. This left her paralyzed and yet totally conscious and aware of her surroundings. She spent 70 days in intensive care and had to endure listening as doctors tried deperately to convince her husband to pull the feeding tube and breathing tube because she had only 1 in a million chance of surviving and if she did she would be a vegetable. In the meantime, Kate was trying to communicate with her husband. Eventually he had an idea. He asked her a question and with all of her power was able to blink out a response. This started her recovery. Now she walks and talks around the country about the disabled and sanctity of life.

After the breakfast was the March for Life in downtown Raleigh. I have been hanging out with my new BFF Denice...She is the Raleigh coordinator for 40 days for Life ....She is a member of St. Andrew's in Apex. I enjoyed listening to many speakers including the leader of STUDENTS FOR LIFE NC....There were about 1000 people there. One woman was about 70 years old and used a walker to walk the 1/2 mile on the March.

Today I gave my testimony in interview style at church. It is amazing what happened after church. Here are a few testimonies that I heard after mine.
1. A very masculine guy came down for prayer and to confess that he was like the boyfriend that had dropped me off at the abortion clinic. He had a girlfriend years ago and they aborted their baby. He said he had great regret because of it. When I told him that men also suffer from the effects of abortion and losing a child he had tears in his eyes and I asked him if I could pray for him and we did.
2. one woman who was about 25 confessed to giving up her baby 10 years ago for adoption when she found herself pregnant and now will be getting married soon and really wants to adopt but wants prayer that her fiance will want the same thing. She was crying because the sermon meant so much to her and she was also touched by my testimony. I reminded her that God will honor her sacrifice and that I wish I would have had the courage she had to see her pregnancy to completion and give her child up. She asked for prayer and we prayed.
3. A guy who doesn't come very often told this story of his very sick sister who had been pregnant during cancer and fought to keep her baby even though the doctors said she should abort...she gave birth and 3 years later died leaving custody to her brother (the guy I was talking to)
4. A woman came to me and told me about the abortion she had 22 years ago and cried as she talked saying she could never forgive herself and I was the first person she ever told the story to. I am emailing post abortive groups for healing.
5. Another woman told me about giving up her baby for adoption 30 years ago and regretting giving him up and miraculously the godly couple who adopted her son had been told through prayer to give the baby back to her. This occurred only hours after she learned about crisis pregnancy services that could help her keep her baby.She was blessed after just a few weeks without him to have been able to raise him.
6. A 17 year old korean adoptee confided in me that her mother was only 16 when she had her and she hopes that she can adopt when she gets older too and is working on finding her birth mother...

In addition, God blessed me by coincidentally sending one of my post abortion bible study friends to the service this week. She has been a great support but has only been to KPIC 2x's before . She did not know that I would be giving my testimony.

Tonight I also attended our Hispanic service where I read in Spanish my encounter with the Hispanic couple at the clinic last week. The worship time with them was intense. I saw two woman fall to their knees inconsolable as the Holy Spirit moved through them during the music.

It has been less than a year since God asked me to come out as a post abortive woman. The concept of revealing my sin was about as appealing as a root canal. But there is power and joy in the light of the Lord's truth. I pray we see a massive outburst of confessions from women so the lies and deception regarding abortion will be squashed. I pray God inspires many to raise their hands and say "i also was hurt by abortion and it is not empowering. It is only by God's grace that i am free....

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Tip of the Iceberg!

It was and still is an eventful week for so many in the pro-life community. Yesterday I chatted with a woman who owns and runs a Crisis Pregnancy Center. She mentioned how abortion is the tip of this huge iceberg that is likely to sink our society...Like the Titanic, a so called unsinkable ship, the captain can only see the little tip at the top of the iceberg not realizing that the tip is really the head of something huge brewing underground. Under the sea the iceberg continues and can break a gigantic hole into the hull of the ship killing and perhaps drowning its passengers. Likewise, while abortion is big it is so because of the huge ramifications and implications that lie below the surface. The death of a child in and of itself is huge but the results of the devastation as a whole are bigger. By aborting so many of our future citizens we also take away the potential for goodness and God's purposes to be fulfilled in the lives He has created (and in the world). By aborting we have shown that our population can decrease. Our economy can also slow down because of it. The family is being chipped away. In certain Scandanavian countries there are so few children being born that the creator of the birth control pill has admitted that the pill has proven to be a hugely destructive experiment and regrets creating it. In other words, what happens when we stop producing children...the next generations are doomed and the families are smaller. The edict in China has shown now that there are so many more men than women and the few women that are in the population are only permitted to have one child. Contrary to the idea that using birth control to control population is a brilliant plan, we are seeing the total opposite is true . AND it will just get worse. The next generation, if inundated with Liberal education and media will continue to buy into the belief that abortion is mainstream, to be on demand and being pregnant is an inconvenience rather than a blessing. If Generation Y doesn't make a total 180degree turn then we will continue to see a decline....The good news is that it does seem that the next generation is more pro-life than generation x. Still it remains to be seen if the generation can be enlivened enough to go back to traditional values that would steer the entire Gen Y population toward life...It all remains to be seen. That is why the work we are doing today is so important...Generations before us would pray for their future generations of children assuming there would be many children from their lineage born. I am sure it never occurred to them that the family line would somehow decrease....but it is decreasing...When we pray for our children's children and on and on ...we need to not only pray for their protection but now we must pray that they choose to procreate and choose life rather than is a humbling and scary thought but true......

Thursday, January 15, 2009

TESTIMONY in Spanish!

This Sunday I will get to give my testimony to 1000 people at our church for the morning service. And then later on the Hispanic minister has asked me to give my testimony to the Hispanic church at 5pm....and they prefer it be given in Spanish...I really do believe God has a total sense of humor.

Unfortunately Qualified! Coming into the light!

It has been a very intense but awesome week. Actually, the past several months since coming out as a post abortive woman has been amazing. I have gone through bible studies, memorialized my daughter, completed a book (to be edited next month) and learned a major lesson first hand. It really is true that God can use our sins for His work. I was always in awe at how God used Peter and called Him His rock in spite of the fact that he denied Jesus several times. Moses was a murderer. David had an affair with a married woman...Still it says so much about God. He truly is efficient and brilliant in the ways He uses our weaknesses and our strengths for His will if we take the leap to confess and offer to follow Him. I don't enjoy talking about my sin but I do enjoy watching as miracles unfold when others are healed and encouraged to step out because God calls them. I like seeing God. Sometimes we 'see' Him better once we have stepped out from our comfort zones hiding and walk into the light exposing our sin. And sometimes He will save lives when you talk about your sin in really bad spanish. Or you will run into someone at the grocery store while buying cucumbers who just starts a conversation about abortion.

I mentioned that I found a house next to an abortion clinic that I would like to have purchased and turned into a crisis pregnancy center (with a focus on post abortive healing). We want to offer ultra sounds etc. We have no money and no idea how to really raise it but will try. I have walked through the house. I have met with major land owners in the area who just happened to have the owner of the vacant house's phone number on home..I listened as the big whig (who is a devout christian) said to the owner of our dream property "Now if your listing expires you call me. Do not sell your house to the center of death next door. I have people here who want to turn you Daddy's house into a center for life." I have heard from friends invigorated to join the cause for life in our community. I have listened in confidence to abortion stories of friends of mine that felt relieved to "come out' since I told my story. I have the pleasure of lending them books and bible studies and sending them URL's to SILENT NO MORE, Abortion changes you , rachel's vineyard. But most amazing is being able to be a mentor to women who have had their pain buried so long and watch them finally breathe again now that they are set free.

I spent so much of my life longing for the things of this world. How foolish! Nothing has touched me more or convicted me more than to watch as the Lord slowly peels the layers of pain away to finally be healed and watch as others are too. I know those of us involved in pro-life efforts have our work cut out for us but I really believe that our battle is with the devil who keeps things in the dark, hidden and surrounded by lies. There is power in the testimony of post abortive women. I can totally understand women who want to remain quiet about it. But from what I have seen, I can only imagine that our greatest weapon against this awful war to claim Life for all, is to bring the truth to light. The women who have suffered, the people who have worked in those clinics and come out and speak out against abortion....the people like Gianna Jessen and Brandi Tozier who have survived abortions, can make a huge impact. Imagine if only 1% of the women who have aborted would come out there would possibly be a wave of understanding and forgiveness to the others who have buried this pain away. The truth can set us free. The light can blind the demons and the LIGHT OF THE WORLD can truly reign over the prince of darkness..being His hands and feet maybe it is up to us sinful but redeemed people to carry the lantern of life into the world....

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Spanglish helps to save a Life!

I just had an amazing day today. I took my friend Roxanne over to see some abortion clinics today (very early). We both have kids from Guatemala. Her son was adopted at 6 and her Spanish is much better than mine. Still neither one of us is fluent (BY A LONG SHOT). So, the plan was for my husband to baby sit and I would show her the clinics. We hadn't been together since Halloween. And we really don't see eachother very often these days. So, I do believe God had a plan for us to be together for a purpose with His perfecting timing. So, it was about 8:45 when we showed up to a clinic here in Raleigh. It is one of the slower clinics with about a dozen abortions today. The sidewalk counselors are from a Catholic church in town. They are very gentle in their approach. There are no graphic signs, tshirts, megaphones or shouting. They do hand out pamphlets to a local pregnancy center. Roxanne and I have been in situations before where we try to speak Spanish...We used to meet ocaissionally at a Mexican restaurant and try to talk to the waiters..We would laugh at each other. So, we show up to this clinic and see that one of the counselors had been chatting with a Hispanic couple in a blue truck. The couple seems to be conflicted. The counselor Mike hands them literature in Spanish. We pray in front of the clinic. We watch as the couple is still in their truck really talking. I asked the counselor if they were speaking Spanish to them. They say "no, I don't know Spanish. Do you know Spanish?" I laugh and say "Very little"...He says "well maybe you only need a little"...We keep praying and notice they are coming out of the truck toward the abortion clinic. At that point it felt like I had a giant rope around my waist that someone pulled for me to go directly to them. Most of the times they only want one counselor to talk to them at a time, but because Roxanne and I both only know a little Spanish we both instinctively went over together. We introduce ourselves. I stumble to say "Es no necesita tu camina en la clinica.." (it is not necessary to walk into the clinic...I wonder if they thought they should run instead) THen I say to the guy pointing to his girlfriend "tu esposa es muy bonita y tu muy guapo, tu nino muy bonita tambian" (your WIFE-maybe they weren't married- is very pretty and you are so handsome your baby will be pretty too). Then I speak in english a little. Then we say we can help...the pregnancy center (they had a brochure in spanish) can help you to keep your baby or give up the baby for adoption---whatever you want. I also said "Mi hija adopta donde Guatemala y ella es mi vida. Yo tengo muy felice porque me hija." (this is all very bad spanish..but I said my daughter is from Guatemala and she is my life..I have much happiness from her.) I continued to say you too will be happy with your baby. I also said "tu nino es Doctor or el presidente" (Your baby is doctor or president). So, they thanked me and we went the other way cringing over the awful spanish we just spoke..Roxanne said "did I just tell them I will buy their baby? I meant to say the clinic will help find money to help with the baby." She replays the phrase and realizes she said the right thing after all. Then I just prayed and watched them as they stood out of the truck on the sidewalk talking and talking...and then after about 20 minutes I felt that I had to tell them about my abortion on 2 semesters of spanish 20 years ago...."mucho anos pasado yo tengo aborto..Yo tengo much dolor en mi corazon por todo los dias en veinte y seite anos. Mucho dolor en mi corazon por siempre. Es no muy bien. No esposo, no employo, no dinero y piensar no nino...pero despues aborto much dolor en mi corazon por siempre..." In a nutshell I said "I had an abortion many years ago and now I will always have a pain in my heart. I had no husband, no money , no job and then I had abortion and after the abortion much pain in my heart forever." Then she had tears in her eyes and I went back to my spot and watched. Another 20 minutes go by...they are talking seriously, then they sort of laugh and flirt with eachother to let off steam, then they keep talking and talking seriously...and I am praying "Dear God, let them go home and have this baby." Eventually they go into the abortion clinic. My heart sinks but I knew that I had to get used to this. Many people will choose abortion even after our best efforts. So now I didn't want to leave. I wanted to see if they would come back out and i felt that I had to pray for them too. So I pray and pray and imagine that their grandmothers and mothers pray prayers of protection to save them. Another 15 minutes go by. I hear the door open. I look up and am praying "dear God let it be them." I see it is him and then I am praying "Dear God, please let her be behind him." and I look and she is there. Then I see him smile and wave to us. We get a nod from the senior sidewalk counselor who tells us to go to them. And then I ask them if they have what they need and know where to call for help and they say yes and smile...Roxanne had given me a phrase that I took "Con vida hay esperanza" With life there is hope. They seemed in their truck and drove away...right after Roxanne said GOD BLESS in spanish. I wanted to cry right there knowing that their baby was saved and that God used my testimony in very bad spanish to help to move them. This was the first time i had used my testimony as a means to talk to a woman going into a clinic to abort her baby. It was in very bad spanish. I remember telling myself for years that I would never ever tell a soul about the abortion and then hearing God tell me this year that I must tell my whole story. Once I started telling my story some would tell me that being transparent and exposing the pain would help lead others to life. I never really understood..But it dawned on me that if God can use my two semesters of spanish 20 years ago as one of His tools to save lives, He certainly could use the testimony in proper english. In the meantime , I will never forget this couple and hope we all pray that they can stay convicted to choose life, that the woman can get her education and that she has the courage to tell her mother and that her mother embraces her with love...Pray the baby lives and that they never go back to the abortion clinic. God is good! Today God saved a life with some really awful spanglish.....

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Eulogy for Aubrey!

I must admit that writing the title for the post was like a knife in my heart. On Wed at 9:30 I am having a memorial for Aubrey. This is 27 years post abortion and after being healed and through bible studies...but first memorial service. It seems strange to do it but also totally devastatingly sad for me.....Still I believe it will bring closure. There will also be 2 other women we are having a service for a total of 4 babies (one woman had two abortions). I will post more about it after the service on Wed...but here is what I am saying...

Dear Aubrey,

All I can think of when I think of you are the vast amounts of blessings you have brought into my life. I believe in my heart of hearts that God wanted to bless me with you when I was 19 because He knew that through mothering you I would come back to Him. But I made that awful decision and never was able to feel the blessings of your life here on earth and it would take more work and time for Jesus to penetrate into my very calloused heart. Still God is amazing and eventually I did come back to Him through the pain and regret of the abortion. I want to say that if you had been born I would have given you an amazing middle name like Faith or Hope or something sweet like that. But because I long to be with you I wanted my name to be your middle name. There is a part of me that died when you left this evil world. There is also a part of me that feels like it will never be home until I am in heaven with you. So knowing my name is with you brings me hope and happiness knowing I too am connected to you in Heaven. The best thing I can do today to honor you is to praise Him. I praise Him for bringing Jesus to truly wash away the sin of the worst decision of my life. I praise Him for promising new life and making me a new creation through Him. I praise Him for being relentless and pulling me back to Him when I wanted to run. I praise Him for seeing my value when I felt unworthy of His love. I praise Him for being gracious and using this awful sin to show me what true compassion is. I praise Him for saving my life when I wanted to kill myself. I praise Him for walking me into the light of day when I wanted to hide under my covers in darkness until the sun stopped shining. I praise Him for truly teaching me how to sing and dance again. I praise Him for allowing me to escape the grasps of an unhealthy relationship and eventually leading me into the arms of a righteous man who has been my husband for 21 years. I praise Him for blessing me with your 4 sisters and 2 brothers. I praise Him for lighting a fire inside of me to advocate for the unborn and for the orphaned children. I praise Him for revealing His supernatural power to me and teaching me that my life is all about Him and not about me. I praise Him for never breaking the yoke he had on me even when I pushed Him away. I praise Him for picking me up, washing me up and telling me I was beautiful when I felt wounded, ugly and weak. But the main praise I send to Him is for your short life and for His infinite forgiveness. I truly believe that Jesus came to save, forgive and renew. I have felt it totally through the healing He has poured out on me. There is no doubt to me that He is the Son of God and Saviour of this world. Aubrey, God used your sweet life to bring me back into the arms of Jesus and that is the most amazing gift I have ever been given. I know He would have done that had you lived as well. But God is brilliant and was able to turn the worst thing in my life into a major blessing. Lastly I praise Him because even though I felt that I had lost you and felt totally disoriented for years not knowing where you were, how to get to you I know you are not lost. I know where you are. I have found you safe and at home in Heaven and in the arms of the Lord. You reside in the home that all of us aliens on this earthly so long to be. This world is not our home but we long to be in the place in Heaven where LIFE is valued, children are valued and loved. In the meantime, God has given us work here to try to be His hands and feet in saving the babies and attempting to make our world reflect His values. I vow that I will truly work to honor your life. I will do my best to continue to turn my sin into life saving measures. I hope Jesus will allow you to witness to the beauty of a mother turning to Life because she hears our story. And when Jesus calls me home I pray He will open the door and place you in my arms again I Praise Him and am at peace knowing you are safe in His arms. I will love you forever!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Abortion is Antagonistic!

So, I am not getting very far YET with getting financing the 1 acre lot next to the abortion clinic. But I am seeking, praying and speaking out about the event someone can come up with a down payment for the 350k property.....I have some meetings sched to see the house and to talk to someone about organizing a nonprofit. Anyhow, I am a midwest girl who spent about 20 years living in NYC..I also still maintain business in NY...So I am accustomed to the bold, direct approach. I live in North Carolina now and find the community very peaceful. But sometimes it is just too peaceful and passive. For example, I have acquaintances at a couple Crisis Pregnancy Centers down here. One guy is very supportive and thinks that setting up a pregnancy center next to the abortion clinic is an excellent way to help young women and offer them a path toward life and hope with their new babies. But I received a note from one of the staff members at another center that really believes the director would not think it was a good idea because it would be perceived as antagonistic. I had a conversation with this same person awhile ago as to why they didn't want to come out as being too pro-life. She said they are trying to draw in 'abortion minded' clients to the clinic and don't want to get into the bad graces of Planned parenthood and therefore lose more clients. So, she perceived a CPC next to an abortion clinic to be something that would get in the way of their successes and communication with Planned Parenthood. I have to respect that they know what is best for their particular center, but have to give my viewpoint (after all that is what I love about having a blog---i can vent).

The county I live in provides 1/3 of the 30thousand abortions of our state per year . Or approximately 10thousand a year. The clinic that exists next to the vacant lot has bragged about performing 100 thousand abortions in 20 years. They have a few clinics...still I think it is safe to assume then that they perform at least 2 or 3 thousand abortions there a year. Our state also doesn't require that the parental notification letter is notarized so several underage girls are permitted to receive abortions without their parents consent or by having the men who have raped them sign off falsely as their fathers. We have laws that allow children to be aborted up to 20 weeks. I have prayed so much about this and have to say that abortion is antagonistic. When this clinic set up shop in my community they basically were the ones being antagonistic. When you call a crisis pregnancy center antagonistic you are in essence labeling the abortion clinic the protagonist or the hero....I refuse to accept that an organization that will abort babies 5 days a weeek up to 20 weeks is the hero in our community. They are the antagonists and the people who organize and run the pregnancy centers are the heros....It is not my style to be violent in my approach to fight abortion. I am consistent. I am all for non-violence. Still I believe it is wise to be a beacon of light for life in your community when the other neighbors are simply being their southern gentile selves and ignoring the atrocities in their backyard. I am grateful that the brazen New York spirit has rubbed off on me and I pray somehow that God will prevail. If Barak Obama passes the Freedom of Choice bill..the numbers of abortions will go up, the restrictions will be lifted and the clinic next to the vacant lot might as well have a 24 hour revolving door...Should the property next door remain vacant simply because someone is afraid to offend the organization that is stripping women of their babies. As a post abortive woman I can say that in my desperation I would have seen the Crisis Pregnancy Center next to the abortion clinic as my beacon of hope...but no one bothered to place a clinic up next to the abortion mill in Orlando that took my daughter away from me....i wonder if someone had a chance to purchase property and just passed on it because they were afraid they would be perceived as being ANTAGONISTIC.....